Wait a minute! What has holes in its shoes and no fingerprints? Mabel! The murderers are...
Wax Sherlock Holmes Standing right behind you?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Dipper fights against Wax Sherlock Holmes atop the Mystery Shack]
WHWax Holmes
You really think you can outwit me, boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass? It's enormous!
For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears.
VTVarious tourists
[putting money in the bag] Oh, yeah. That makes perfect sense. Wow, what a nice man. That was totally worth the drive.
[Mabel surprises Dipper with her new makeover and manicured fingernails]
Hey, Dipper. What's going on? [Dipper swats her hands away and gets up]
Whoa, where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails? You look like a... wolverine.
I know, right? Rawr. I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man.
Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.
Oh, leave him alone. You never wanna do girly stuff with me. You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time.
What do you mean?
Hey, dude. You ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave, one by one?
Am I?
[They both run off and turn on the microwave offscreen, laughing at the popping sounds]
[guffawing] Oh, dude!
One at a time! One at a time!
[At the gift shop, Stan shows Soos, Wendy and Dipper a newspaper article showing a picture of Gideon and Mabel together]
Hey, hey! What the Jekyll is Mabel doing in the paper next to that greasy pickpocket Gideon?
[browses her cellphone] Oh yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight.
WHAT?! That little shyster is dating my great-niece?!
I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mab-ideon? Gide-Abel? [Gasps] Ma-gid-bel-eon!
I didn't know! I didn't hear about it! And plus, I told her not to!
[walking out the door] Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop right now! [Slams the door]
[Stan goes to Gideon's house to confront him. However, Gideon's father Bud answers the door.]
BGBud Gleeful
Well, well, Stanford Pines. What brings you here?
Outta the way, Bud. I'm here to talk to Gideon.
BGBud Gleeful
Well, I haven't seen the boy around. But as long as you're here, you simply must come in for coffee.
I don't think-
BGBud Gleeful
Ah, ah, it's imported - all the way from Colombia.
Wow. I went to jail there once.
[Dipper sees a nervous Mabel pacing around the living room]
What in the heck happened on that date?
I don't know! I was in the friend zone—and then, before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!
Mabel, come on. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon.
Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon.
WHAT?!
It's all part of my long-term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt. [Looks down] Ugh, I am fat.
[Mabel runs out screaming]
Bodies change, honey! Bodies change.
[on Mabel] She's never gonna date you, man!
That's a lie! And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend. [Levitates the scissors out from a box to kill Dipper]
[Mabel destroys Gideon's amulet]
My powers! Oh, this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me.
Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?
Mabel I believe you're a big dork! Hahaha!
And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.
Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.
Oh, you mean The Big Muffin.
Uh, it's a giant explosion.
LLee
It kinda does look like a muffin.
Come on, Dipper.
[climbing over the fence] Okay, okay, just gotta get a foothold.
Dude, your sister did it.
[running on the ground sideways in a circle] Woop woop woop woop woop woop.
[to Dipper] ...and your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip.
[feeling sick] Uhhhhh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?
[Mabel hallucinates into a rainbow colored candy world with the Smile Dip mascots]
FPFlavor Pup #1
Elknurg tsurt t'nod! ['Don't trust Grunkle' backwards]
FPFlavor Pup #2
Would you like to eat my candy paws?
Of course, you little angel. [starts chewing on the paw. Cut to real life; Mabel is chewing on air.]
Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I try to say anything about it to any of these guys they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something.
[makes a gurgling sound]
Mabel?
[zoom in on Mabel's face, fade to her hallucination: she's flying with crazy pop music from before playing]
The future is in the past. Onwards Aoshima!
AAoshima
[moves its fists in a circular motion, its mouth opens to reveal a fist coming out of them, and the fists open and spit out rainbows]
Mabel, How many of these did you eat?!
Eleven...teen.
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man.
CBCereal box Toucan
I'm bonkers for eating you alive.
LLee
No! [Screams as a stabbing sound is heard]
NNate
Lee! Okay, okay... I'm with you kid! 100%, man!
PPa
[possessing Mabel, flies up behind counter; through Mabel, deep voice] Welcome.
DNDipper, Nate, Robbie, and Wendy
[Scream]
They got Mabel!
PPa
Welcome to your graves, young trespassers. [Kicks legs and laughs]
We're super sorry for hanging out in your store!
Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?
PPa
Well... okay. You're free to go. [Opens doors] But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs.
NRNate and Robbie
[Scream and run for the door]
PPa
[Closes doors] Just kidding about the hot dog sale.
NNate
Just let us out of here already!
PPa
I don't like your tone. [Dissolves Nate]
NNate
[Reappears as a hot dog on the stove] No! I'M A HOT DOG!
PPa
It begins. [Makes everything float to the ceiling] Welcome to your home for all eternity!
Dipper, what do we do?!
DUCK! [Dipper and Wendy duck to avoid a flying shelf]
[Points] Quick! In there! [Dipper and Wendy Run to a tipped over ice machine and hide inside and pant]
What do they want from us?!
Revenge, I guess?
What did we do wrong?
Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken? Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic; it doesn't make any sense!
Yeah! I mean, those are all just normal teenage things.
Wendy, say that last part again.
Normal teenage things?
Of course! Stay here until I get back! [crawls out of the freezer]
Dude, what are you doing?!
Hey ghost!
PPa
[twists Mabel's head around to face Dipper, then turns the rest of her body towards him]
I've got something to tell you! I'm not a teenager!
PPa
[drops everything that's floating and appears holding Mabel by her hair with Ma] Hohoho! Well why didn't you say so? [drops Mabel into a pile of candy]
WAAH! [Lands in the candy and rubs her head] Ohhh...
MMa
Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store.
PPa
Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants. So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.
MMa
The lyrics were so hateful.
RRapper
Homework's whack, and so are rules. Tucking in your shirt's for fools.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.