I've tried watching those movies but I just get horribly depressed and I think about how they were all kids once, and how they all have mothers and - God, what would their mothers think of them and WHY would you get that tattoo there?
S2 E15Sexy
I really like when we make out and stuff.
Which isn't cheating because?
The plumbing's different.
Look, let's be clear here. I'm not interested in any labels, unless it's on something I shoplift.
I don't know. Santana, I think we should talk to somebody, like an adult. This relationship is really confusing for me.
Breakfast is confusing for you.
Well, sometimes it's sweet, sometime it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? Then what is it?
It's not about who you are attracted to ultimately, it's about who you fall in love with.
[Having "the talk" with his son] Now for most guys sex is, just, ya know, this thing we always want to do. Ya know, its fun, feels great, but we're not really thinking too much about, ya know, how it makes us feel on the inside, or, ya know, how the other person feels about it.
Women are different?
Only because they get that its about something more than just the physical. Ya know, when you're intimate with somebody, in that way, you're exposing yourself, ya know, you're never gonna be more vulnerable, and that scares the hell out of a lot of guys. Believe me, I can't tell you how many buddies I've got who have gotten way too deep with a girl who said she was cool with just hooking up.
But that's not going to happen to me, Dad.
No, its gonna be worse. Because its two guys. With two guys you got two people who think that sex is just sex. Its gonna be easier to come by. And once you start doing this stuff you're not going to want to stop. Yah just... you gotta know that it means something. You know, its doing something... to you, to your heart, to your self esteem, even though it feels like... you're just having fun.
So you're saying I shouldn't have sex?
I think on your 30th birthday it is a great gift to yourself.
[pause]
Kurt, when you're ready, I want you to be able to... do everything. But when you're ready I want you to, use it as a way to connect to another person. Don't throw yourself around, like you don't matter. 'Cause you matter, Kurt.
[pause] Is that it?
That's it, for now. Can I make you some toast?
I think I'll take it up to my room to eat while I look over my new pamphlets
[he gathers the gay sex Ed pamphlets his father has brought home]
. Thank you Dad.
You're welcome.
[Kurt leaves. Burt sighs a deep sigh of relief]
In the hallways:
[walks to Brittany] Hi.
Hi.
Can we talk?
But we never do that.
I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Yeah.
'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
I understand that.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Not really.
I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
[sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Artie?
I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
[pulls her arm away] Don't.
I am so yours. Proudly so.
Yeah, wow. Whoever thought that being fluid meant that you could be so stuck?
Don't. I'm sorry -- [tries to hug Santana]
[pushes her away] Get off me. [leaves]
PPuck
Once on a dare, I swallowed a thumbtack. And I'm about 90% sure it's still there.
PPuck
I like wooing you, Lauren. Next to dropping my afternoon deuce, it's my second favorite part of my day.
The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.
No.
I made a mistake with Puck. You should have been my first.
You don't want any of this. I'm damaged goods. Yes, that makes me terrific in bed, but it also means I tend to break nice guys like you into Wasa Crackers.
I don't know if you heard...but I am an excellent educator.
I'm attracted to girls, I'm attracted to guys. I made out with a mannequin. I even had a sex dream about a shrub that was just in the shape of a human.
Hmm well we've all been there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.