I thought America was all about different, unique people coming together and excepting one another.
Pretty old brochure, dude.
Pot O'Gold
Would you? be my friend, Finn?
Whoa, whoa.
It would be an honor.
In America, dudes don't ask dudes to be their friends. Well, except on Facebook, but even that could take years.
Hi Santana! How many solos did you get in glee club last year?
A few.
One. Valerie. And I loved it.
I was also the lips in Rocky Horror.
Listen, if you and I were in Shelby's group we'd get all the solos and the duets.
And why would I care about all girl?
You know, honestly I wish I could, but somebody's gotta look out for Brittany. I mean, that special place where she lives, yeah it's beautiful, but someone's gotta help her cross the street. I'd never just leave her.
Get her to come with you.
I am literally horny with fear.
Britt, I want to talk about, you know, that thing we never talk about.
That Sour Patch Kids are gummy bears that turn into drugs?
Are we dating or what?
Wait, isn't this a date? Aren't you were paying. I ordered shrimp! Wasn't it last week we were taking a bath together-wasn't that a date? Are you crying?
It's just that I'm really happy.
Well, I told you last year that if I was single and you were single, we would mingle. And if there's any controversy that interferes with my presidential campaign, then I'll use one of my leprechaun wishes. To win the election.
Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun?
'Brittany: Yeah, he's from Ireland. He's made of magic. Don't you have any wishes that you really want to come true?
Yeah, I do. I'm thinking about joining Shelby's new show choir. If I did, would you join me? I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. I want to shine and be seen as the star I am. But I won't join without you.
I don't want to known as a quitter. Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? Can't I think about it for like a day?
Yeah, totally. I understand. Just think about it. But in the meantime, I do have one more wish.
Mm hm.
I wish you'd hold my hand.
[smiles and holds Santana's hand]
[smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. [puts a napkin over her and Brittany's hands]
What do I have? Beth is perfect, she is my perfect thing. Something I can't even screw up. Do you know how hard it is to do something perfectly? I'll never get the chance again. So even if I never leave this town or accomplish anything, I'll have her to call mine.
(Writes "The Magic is Back!" on white board)
He knows about my leprechaun.
Here's the deal, pixie-boy. You've got a crush on my girl, Brittany. I understand. She's beautiful, she's innocent, she's everything that's good in this miserable, stinking world.
Brittany thinks you're a sprightly green mythological creature,but I know you're a potato-eating poser. But since Brittany likes having a pet Irish, I'm not going to explode you.
Leprechaun starring a young Jen Aniston is my favorite movie. It learned me two things. One: Leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they're gay. And two, they grant wishes. So you're gonna grant me a wish.
Lord Tubbington snuck out and I found him at Arby's.
Lord Tubbington's poops are crispy and delicious.
Your Glee Club saved my kid's life. It turns out art can do that, ya know? Whether it's through singing or dancing or painting a freakin' picture.
PPuck
Not a lot of people believe in me and it means a lot that you do.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.