BVBeach vendor
[crucified in the middle of the sea] Let me go! My legs are getting soaked here! I'm getting all wrinkled here! Please don't do it!
[bored] The bait isn't working.
[bored] Maybe it's not even in this sea anymore. [yawns]
Why is sea water so salty? Maybe because you city people use it as bathroom!!
Hey miss, you understand my feelings, don't you?
[unwrapping her obento] Yes, I do.
Ah. Thanks, mis-- [Otae offers him the obento, containing unrecognizable piles of ashes]
If you feel like, pick one for yourself. I made these fried eggs this morning.
Eh? Uh... Well...
I'm sure you can't do anything on an empty stomach.
[Hasegawa picks one up and eats it. He turns blue from the taste]
Don't you want to get the other one?
Eh... Uh... No thanks, I'm full.
[carrying a large boulder] Oh boy, can they swim.
Hey girl, what are you gonna do? Where'd you get that?
[straight-faced] Instead of watching others being happy, I'd much rather destroy them.
[after he sees the sea monster coming] Hey guys, run away! It's a double punch! Two dangerous things are going your way!
What's he saying?
"Double pants"? I wonder if he forgot to bring an extra pair of pants? (in Japanese, daburu pantsu - "double panties")
I can't swim fast enough!!! [Shinpachi swims past him] Oi! Hold on, Shinpachi! [grabbing on to the strap of Shinpachi's swimming goggles] How can you swim so well? that's so unlike you! Weren't you supposed to be the guy who falls for everything but traps? Huh?!
Owowowowowow! My eyes are bulging out! My eyes are bulging out!!!
[Kagura tries throwing the boulder to hit the monster, but ends up hitting Gintoki and Shinpachi in the sea instead.]
I missed.
So that's how it was. Well, maybe it was its love for the sea that influenced it.
Men don't need to speak the same language. They can communicate on a spiritual level.
Even though it looked ugly, on the inside it wasn't. It just wanted to play, I guess. I'm sure of this: every creature of the sea is good. [stands up and starts leaving] When we live close to the sea, the dirt that covers us all is washed away.
Dirt, eh? Somehow, this still looks pretty dirty. [cut to the newspaper Gintoki is reading. There is a story on it about the sea monster playing with kids]. Hmph. So what? [throws the newspaper away]
[after the end credits and preview]
Maybe I should wear a different kimono someday...
Watch out for the conveyor belt.
DVDisembodied voice
Die... Die... Die, Hijikata, with your high legacy...
No way. That's really...
[the disembodied voice keeps telling Hijikata to die. He opens the door and sees it's Okita, with a candle headdress, talking from the outside, as he hides a hammer and nail behind him.]
What are you doing out here so late?
Uh, jogging.
[as he speaks, we see a portrait of Hijikata nailed to a tree.] Stop lying! If you were really jogging in that outfit, you head would be a fireball by now! A ritual! You must be in the middle of a ritual to kill me!
Oh, you really jump to conclusions. Watch yourself, or you might become a paranoid psycho.
It's gotta be a joke, the great Shinsengumi scared and confined to bed. It's so embarrassing, I'll hardly show my face in public again. Pitiful.
Toushi! It was different for me! It was the mayonnaise that scared me!
That's even worse!
You should not talk the spirits down, lest you'd face a string of bad luck, Toushi. For example, this house is haunted. Some ghost must have taken it over.
That's so stupid.
[he remembers the apparition he saw the night before]
Or maybe not.
[Yamazaki has brought in a trio of exorcists - really, the Yorozuya crew in disguise. Kagura is wearing shades and a Chinese hat, Gintoki has his face bandaged and wears a kasa, and Shinpachi has a fake nose and mustache and uses a headwrap]
Who are these guys, a circus troupe?
No. We hired them to exorcise the building.
Hey, hey, you gotta be kidding me. These guys look pretty odd...
Oh! There's something on your back, sir!
What? What's on my back?
[Kagura and Gintoki whisper to each other]
I agree. Looks like he's beyond saving.
Can I kill them, Commander? Can I?
What kind of spirit could it be, gorilla?
It got him too!
Well... Factory supervisor.
[Gintoki punches Kagura]
Yeah, well... It's the spirit of a factory supervisor who died when he was caught on a conveyor belt!
Uh... But all our men said they saw a woman.
He put it wrong. It's the spirit of a woman who committed suicide, and who looked like a factory supervisor who died when he was caught on a conveyor belt!
That's too complicated! Besides, what kind of factory supervisor haunts people?
Uh, how will you do the exorcism?
By getting rid of you.
What? Anybody could do that!
[Kagura punches him in the gut, knocking him unconscious.]
Yes! It's in! The spirit's in him now!
The way I see it, it looked more like a body blow than a spirit.
[pretending to be the spirit by manipulating Yamazaki's unconscious body] No, you're wrong, I'm in here! Well, everyone, it was entirely my fault that the factory...
Heyyy! Isn't that the factory supervisor?!
[drops Yamazaki] Ehh, what was it again?
You dummy! It was supposed to be a woman who died on a conveyor belt!
Why does it have to be a woman who died on a conveyor belt? In a conveyor belt... hmm...
Whatever, we'll just do any woman.
No way! It's easy to say "any woman", but it's harder to give her life!
Nobody's gonna care if you're convincing or not!
Shut up, mummy-man! Your costume isn't any convincing anyway!
What? It's more mysterious like this!
[they start fighting.]
Hey, cut that out! We're in the middle of work here, you hear me?
[their disguises fall apart as Kondo, Okita and Hijikata watch.]
[the Yorozuya crew are tied upside down to a tree.]
We didn't mean no harm. We just wanted a job. Since it's summer, we thought exorcism would be an easier way to make money, so we decided to try our luck in town. Right, Gin-san?
Yeah. You see, I've been able to see ghosts for a long time, so I thought that could be useful. [Okita stands and walks up to him.] Ah! There's an angry old hag standing behind you.
Really? Then it must be the old hag from the convenience store. She's been mad at me since I tried to claim those popsicle stick prizes, saying that I falsified them. What do I do?
Don't worry. You just need to let us down and throw a pot of water on her, and it'll be alright.
Yeah, I see. Then I'll dump this down your nose. [pours Coca-Cola into Gintoki's nostrils]
Owowowowowow! What's this?! Seems so familiar! Just like that time I almost drowned in the pool!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.