Max Lopez quotes from George Lopez

Max

What's going on?

Angie

Uh, you know how, uh, sometimes strangers come by and we find out they're related to your dad? Uh...uh, this is one of those nights. Go.

Max

[as he goes upstairs] Carmen, they found another one!

Carmen

When Jason said he'd love me forever, he meant forever.

Max

When he said that, was your shirt on or off?

Angie

Upstairs!

Max

It matters...

George

Hey, Max. The owls called. They're done nesting, vato. You can cut your hair.

Max

Cindy Porter said I have big ears. If I cut my hair, she'll never love me!

George

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Little pig-nosed Cindy Porter? Man, get your hair out of your eyes. She's nasty.

Max

I like nasty.

Max

Uh, "Rippin' it to the max."

George

Please. The only thing you rip is... [makes a fart sound]

George

Max, there is no way you're dropping out of school.

Max

But I have to start making money right now. Social Security is a pyramid scheme being gutted by the baby boomers.

George

Do you have any idea what the hell you're saying?

Max

No. Somebody knocked over the radio on the loading dock. It's stuck on AM.