“Put Your Head on my Shoulders” · Season 2
In this episode: Philip J. Fry (6), Bender (5), Amy Wong (4), Turanga Leela (3), Zoidberg (2), Zapp Brannigan (2), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (1), Sal (1)
Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
She is well traveled... and I don't mean she travels a lot.
Sorry, I'm not here to buy.
I understand. But it's wonderful that you don't care whether anyone questions your sexual orientation.
I care! I care plenty! But I just don't know how to make them stop!
One word: Thundercougarfalconbird.
Congratulations, Fry! You snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she probably has got other characteristics...
Bender! Romance isn't about money.
Oh, so it's just coincidence that Zoidberg is desperately poor and miserably lonely? Please!
[Zoidberg raises one of his mouth mandibles to protest.]
For your information, it's because he's hideous.
[Zoidberg drops his mouth mandible and slumps sadly.]
Stop, stop! If you interrupt the mating dance, the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad!
Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's!
Cheers!
[with five o'clock shadow] Cheers!
[seeing Sal meeting a prostitute] Bender, did you just round up our dates at the bus station?
Of Course Not!
Anybodys else for Nutley?
[Bender's customers get up and head for the door. Zapp's date also leaves.]
Baby, wait! You didn't show me your surprise.
Wait. You mean people will pay good money for romance? Hmm. I think I have a scheme so deviously clever that I -
[cut to a judge banging his gavel]
$500 and time served.
[with a gold tooth] Stupid anti-pimping laws. Well, pay the man!
Bender, honey, we love you.
Shut up, baby, I know it!
OK, Fry, we're done putting on the bra.
Why exactly did you shave your legs anyway? Are you expecting something to happen with your Valentine's date?
What business is it of yours?
And another thing: You're using an awful lot of make-up there.
This is deodorant.
What does it do?
Hey, I can get a date too. Now that I'm single, I'll attract all sorts of women!
With my body I think you might only attract one sort of woman.
Oh! Oh...
There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin, I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash.
Can I live without it?
If you call that living.
I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me graft a laser cannon on your chest, to crush those who disobey you! But I guess we're just two different people.
Everything worked out great thanks to good old Bender.
Come on! It's not like you intentionally set us up with bad dates so we'd spend Valentine's Day together.
Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?
No, you didn't! You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money!
True. But, in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is really all about?
Yeah.
I guess so.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
