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“The Lesser of Two Evils” · Season 2
In this episode: Philip J. Fry (7), Turanga Leela (5), Bender (3), Flexo (3), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (2), Amy Wong (1)
My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
[Fry, Leela, and Bender are riding in the car with Fry behind the wheel. The car suddenly crashes and the airbags go off.]
Ugh... I think I got whiplash.
You can't have whiplash. You don't even have a neck.
I meant Ass-whiplash.
I'm just glad we hit something, I thought we'd never stop.
[Everyone gets out of the car, and are shocked to see a robot that looks like Bender]
Ugh... I think I got whiplash. [faints]
How's that robot I ran over?
We did all we could...
You mean he's...?
Good as new? Yes!
Good news, everyone. Report to my bedroom for a private exhibition.
[Everyone exchanges worried glances with one another. In his bedroom, Farnsworth sits on his four-post bed and the staff and Flexo gather around]
Everyone get in bed with me. I have something to show you
[Everyone climbs on and Farnsworth presses a button and makes the curtains around the bed close. What goes on inside is hidden from view.]
Feast your eyes on this!
[Everyone gasps.]
It's beautiful!
And huge!
Can I touch it?
Space bandidos have been operating in this quadrant so you'll each take 8-hour shifts guarding the safe. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.
Wait, hold on. I don't like the sound of that. Let's just go alphabetically.
OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.
Wait, let's go by rank.
OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.
Flexo outranks me?
That's "Flexo outranks me, sir"!
Fry, why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?
I didn't find him ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again.
Bender?! You stole the atom?
I can explain: It's very valuable.
I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.
Whoa, whoa. Wait a sec. You mean Bender is the evil Bender? I am shocked. Shocked! Well not that shocked.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.