Seriously, Ross, breathe louder, that's great.
Y'know, We should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half-human, half-pure evil!
S8 E22The One Where Rachel Is Late
This is insane! I'm not gonna make love to you just so you'll go into labor!
Make love? What are you, a girl?
A great way to get into a man's pants.
S8 E23The One Where Rachel Has the Baby: Part 1
How may centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
LDr. Long
Three.
Just three? I'm dilated three!
Stupid metric system!
How may centimeters am I dilated? 8, 9?
LDr. Long
3.
Just 3? I'm dilated 3!
[pressuring Ross to marry Rachel] This isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and... humped. A child should have a family.
Mom, you know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry...
Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.
S8 E24The One Where Rachel Has the Baby: Part 2
[Rachel is giving birth]
I can't believe this is taking so long. How're you doing?
Not bad. You know that feeling where you try to blow a St. Bernard out your ass?
And soon someone will call her "Mom."
[Cliff's cast is itchy. Phoebe gets a spoon to scratch it.]
CCliff
Wow. I usually get to know a girl better before I let her spoon me.
Relax, it's not like we're forking.
[Rachel is giving birth]
Let's go - one more time - one final push. Ready? 1... 2... 3!
[Rachel pushes really hard and jerks her head forward hitting Ross in the head. He falls down]
Keep pushing!
Are you okay?
[Slowly getting up] You have no idea how much this hurts!
[Rachel and Dr. Long stare at him]
Keep going! Keep going!
[Rachel is holding her baby girl in awe. Ross attempts to kiss her on the forehead but she looks up before he can do so. They look at each other and kiss.]
Hello, baby girl.
S9 E1The One Where No One Proposes
You can touch yourself in front of us, but you can't talk to Rachel.
What? When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?
Oh, please. Just before, when you were asleep in the lounge. That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV.
I didn't give her that ring!
You didn't?
No!
So whose ring is it?
It's mine!
Is it an engagement ring?
Yes.
But you didn't give it to her?
No!
But you were going to propose?
No!
Huh! I might be losing interest in this.
S9 E2The One Where Emma Cries
Mon, what am I gonna do? It's been hours and it won't stop crying.
"She," Rach. Not "it." She.
Yeah. I'm not so sure.
[Phoebe is reading a book on how to stop a baby from crying.]
We've tried feeding, drinking and diaper changing. Oh, here's something: "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe."
[Chandler is begging to Elaine to not make him go to Tulsa.]
Oh i love Tulsa, Tulsa is heaven,Tulsa is Italy, Please don't make me go there!
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