FreakazoidSo AT&T, MCI, & Sprint fought a pitched battle over who would provide service. [showing stock footage of armored tanks fighting in a warzone] Finally, Bo-Ron chose the winner [showing Bo-Ron with lipstick imprints on his face while Candice Bergen is attracted to Bo-Ron] and we phoned his home.
AAH! It's ringing. [They reached an answering machine in Bo-Ron's primitive language addressing "We're not here right now. Please leave your message after the beep"]
I got the machine. It's ALWAYS on. Hello? You're there. I know you're there. PICK UP! COME ON! PICK UP!
CQCobra Queen
If it isn't my dear friend, Atomic Boy.
Freakazoid
Freakazoid. I'm Freakazoid.
CQCobra Queen
Oh! I'm so terribly sorry, Freakazoid. The light is dreadful down here.
Freakazoid
Nah, forget it Cobra Queen. You know, you should really get some of those Japanese lanterns to brighten up the place.
CQCobra Queen
The paper ones? Are they expensive?
Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some sort of deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful!
Freakazoid
If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in?
You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is that Guitierrez sabotaged the energy field that powers ya here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better than a dried-up piece of fleshy haggis. Oh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting ya, lad. He's made sure you've got no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ya.
Freakazoid
Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show.
AYE! THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM! BUT, NO! ALL THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION GOES TO ME! I'VE GOT TO TALK AND TALK AND FIDDLE WITH THE COMPUTER AND TALK SOME MORE AND FIDDLE AND TALK, I FEEL LIKE OBI-WAN CRUDDY KENOBI!
Freakazoid
Roddy, settle.
Freakazoid
Aren't you coming?
Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He want's you... alone. THERE! THAT'S THE LAST OF THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
(an audience applaudes)
[Freakazoid breaks into a room to stop the Lobe - destroying a wall full of TV monitors in the process]
Freakazoid
Hello? Lobe? Is this the right room?
Freakazoid! Look what you've done!
Freakazoid
Sorry. I'm in a hurry.
There's a door not ten feet away. A fine invention. You should try it.
BBThe Bus Boy
Come, she awaits. [While passing every pillar in the restaurant, Dexter changes into Michael Jackson, Barney the Dinosaur, and The Skipper from Gilligan's Island]
BBThe Bus Boy
I have your date.
BBThe Bus Boy
Well, of course he is? [gasps] "Skipper" Alan Hale!
Freakazoid
Oh, no. [in Alan Hale's voice] GOODBYE, LIL' BUDDIES!
Freakazoid
Oh, we've been at this all day! I hate this.
I know, kid, but it's tradition. No superhero can refuse any request on their birthday.
CCaption
IMPORTANT PLOT POINT
Freakazoid
Cosgrove, are you positive that's a superhero tradition?
What, ya think I'm fibbing? I'm a fibby-boy? I heard it somewhere. Talk to the other superheroes if you don't believe me.
Freakazoid
I can't. They're all away at some conference.
CCaption
ANOTHER IMPORTANT PLOT POINT
Freakazoid
If you put baking soda and vinegar together, they make a little volcano!
CCaption
NOT IMPORTANT... BUT INTERESTING
NNeighbor
Hey! What are you doing!?
Freakazoid
I'm fulfilling your request; I'm mowing your lawn.
NNeighbor
While the Lobe's attacking everybody?! Go get him already! What are you, wacko?
WWWakko Warner
No, I'm Wakko! [starts singing] Baton Rouge, Louisiana / Indianapolis, Indiana, / And Columbus is the capitol of Ohio-
Freakazoid
HEY! Wakko, what are you doing here? We're kind of in the middle of something.
WWakko
Oh, it's OK! Steven loves it when we do stuff like this. After all, Animaniacs is his favorite.
Freakazoid
Uh, sorry to break this to you, Wakko, but if I'm not mistaken, Freakazoid! is Steven's favorite show. We got a memo.
BBrain
Ahem. I believe you're both mistaken. It is the sophisticated wit and charm of Pinky and the Brain that has captured Steven's heart, as well as making it the breakaway hit of the WB's schedule.
Freakazoid
Well, why don't we just go find out?!
[Later, at the Amblin Entertainment building, they continue to argue.]
SSSteven Spielberg
QUIET! Now what's this about?
Freakazoid
First of all, Steven, thank you very much for taking the time to meet with us. We realize you're very busy, and-
Freakazoid
We were just wondering... who's your favorite?
SSSteven Spielberg
Who are you people?
Well, what about [the Superhero Codebook]?
Freakazoid
There isn't any such thing as a Superhero Codebook, is there?! You made it all up! You made up all those rules! YOU FIBBED! YOU'RE A FIBBY-BOY!
[chuckles] Freakazoid, really, you're completely delusional. Whatever gave you a silly ridiculous idea like that?
Freakazoid
THIS! [holds up scrap of paper from the book] "Copyright Lobe Industries"!
I knew I shouldn't have put that on there! Dumb, dumb, dumb!
One thing still bothers me. How come Vucanova has got such a rotten government?
Freakazoid
Because individual liberty is the key to good government. A good example might be your local Anubis Market.
Where customers are free to experience quality and service.
Aye, Steff. And to choose low prices without fear or coercion.
PJProf. Jones
I rest easier knowing that Anubis Markets are a division of Osiris Foods.
EEveryone
Food so good, you can eat it!
Freakazoid
What can I say? It kept me on the air for another season.
Freakazoid! · 135 quotes
