Roddy MacStew quotes from Freakazoid!

Roddy MacStew

Ay, that's the master chip. If I can disconnect it, the system will be as helpless as a man with big apples for feet!

Roddy MacStew

A vast river of woe is heading our way!

Roddy Macstew

[seeing that Freakazoid mastered his levitation powers] By the soiled trousers of Argus! That lad's done it!

A Freaky-zoid? What's that?

Roddy MacStew

That's just what it sounds like Mr. Fancy Man sitting in your chair!

Roddy MacStew

Oh I'm his uh.. [thinking] WHAT SHOULD I SAY! I CANT THINK! SHE'LL NEVER BUY IT! CRUD! CRUD! [out loud] I'm his insurance agent.

Insurance agent? But he's only 17.

Roddy MacStew

[thinking] CRUD! I BLEW IT! I BLEW IT! [out loud] Oh no, I meant his driving instructor. It's time for his lesson.

On Christmas Day?

Roddy MacStew

He's a very bad driver.

Roddy MacStew

You'll never get away with it Guitierrez!

Guitierrez

Get away with what? I haven't said anything yet.

Roddy MacStew

Yeah you're right. Sorry, I jumped the gun. My fault.

Roddy MacStew

At least let the lad go!

Guitierrez

No, I cannot.

Roddy MacStew

Why?

Guitierrez

Because he tasks me! He tasks me! 'round the moons of Snivia, I chuckle at thee. Beyond the Corpian clouds I chuckle more at thee. Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins! Kirk, old friend, I... Oh, sorry. [He fixes his tie.] Good-bye.

Roddy MacStew

[voice-over] When you want to change into the Freakazoid, just say "Freak Out." When you want to change back into Dexter, say "Freak In." You're a good lad. I'll be seeing you around.

Freakazoid

[crying] That made water come out my eyes.

Roddy MacStew

Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some sort of deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful!

Freakazoid

If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in?

Roddy MacStew

You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is that Guitierrez sabotaged the energy field that powers ya here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better than a dried-up piece of fleshy haggis. Oh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting ya, lad. He's made sure you've got no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ya.

Freakazoid

Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show.

Roddy MacStew

AYE! THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM! BUT, NO! ALL THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION GOES TO ME! I'VE GOT TO TALK AND TALK AND FIDDLE WITH THE COMPUTER AND TALK SOME MORE AND FIDDLE AND TALK, I FEEL LIKE OBI-WAN CRUDDY KENOBI!

Freakazoid

Roddy, settle.

Roddy Macstew

Alright, we're ready.

Freakazoid

Aren't you coming?

Roddy Macstew

Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He want's you... alone. THERE! THAT'S THE LAST OF THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

One thing still bothers me. How come Vucanova has got such a rotten government?

Freakazoid

Because individual liberty is the key to good government. A good example might be your local Anubis Market.

Where customers are free to experience quality and service.

Roddy MacStew

Aye, Steff. And to choose low prices without fear or coercion.

I rest easier knowing that Anubis Markets are a division of Osiris Foods.

Food so good, you can eat it!

Freakazoid

What can I say? It kept me on the air for another season.

[walking through sewers] What do they call "poo-gas" in Scotland?

Roddy MacStew

"Crud-vapors".

Crud-vapors. I like that.

Roddy MacStew

From what ya tell me, it sounds like you can only use your telekinetic powers when you're really angry!

Freakazoid

Then I'll only use them when I'm really angry!

Roddy MacStew

That's what I just said! Can you hear me or is there a wee goblin in your head eatin my words!?

Freakazoid

I... don't think there's a goblin in there...

Freakazoid

Why do I have to learn to move things with my mind?

Roddy MacStew

Strength and speed will only take you so far, lad.

Freakazoid

It got me a second season.

Roddy MacStew

You can't count on that! Networks are fickle, they can drop you like a man with big oak fingers!