[Guitierrez tries to find Freakazoid's weakness, so he pulls a green rock out of his cloak]
Behold, the purest Kryptonite. Feeling weak, my friend, oh so weak?
FreakazoidThat's Superman's weakness, not mine!
Freakazoid
Yeah, DUH!
Oh, that stupid man at the store! Well then, how about this! [pulls out a yellow pad of paper, and holds it in front of Freakazoid's face] Does the yellow hurt your eyes, my friend? Getting weak, oh so very weak?
Freakazoid
That's the Green Lantern!
Oh, shoot! [throws it down] Then how 'bout some... [picks up a glass of water and throws it in Freakazoid's face] water in your face! Are you melting, melting, my friend?
Freakazoid
That's the Wicked Witch!
Oh, we're wasting time. What is your weakness?
Freakazoid
Well...
[scene switch to Freakazoid in a cage]
Freakazoid
Dumb, dumb, dumb! Never tell the villain how to trap you in a cage!
You probably shouldn't have helped us build it, either.
Freakazoid
I know! Dumb!
So... graphite bars charged with negative ions. That is your weakness, eh?
Freakazoid
That, or poo gas.
You know, it's a funny thing. Nobody likes poo gas, my friend. Blagh!
Freakazoid
Whee-hee-hee-hee! I'm flying a plane! I'm flying a plane! Boy, being a pilot's really neato!
You're doing real good, ki- plane.
[Freakazoid and Cosgrove swerve to avoid oncoming plane.]
[Later on...]
[Freakazoid and Cosgrove swerve to avoid oncoming blimp.]
[Later on some more...]
[Freakazoid and Cosgrove swerve to avoid a huge copy of Brando.]
Freakazoid
Who are you? What have you done with the others?!
There'll be time for questions later...
Freakazoid
No there won't; the show's over in ten minutes!
WELL, IF YOU HADN'T WASTED ALL THAT TIME IN THE PLANE, I...!
[Mystico breaks abruptly from his rant and smiles at the camera.]
You will all be my guests for dinner. I trust you're hungry? I've made a casserole! Akbar! Ringo! Fatima! To the house! Schnell!
They called me mad! Insane! WENDELL! [jumping onto table and ranting] They barred me from the universities until I had no choice but to flee here to conduct my research! Well, who's crazy now, hmmmm?! Who's mad now?! Hmmmmmmmm?! [jumping back into his seat and speaking normally] Try the casserole, Freakazoid, before it gets cold.
[Freakazoid makes a "cuckoo" gesture to Cosgrove and Lobe]
Freakazoid
What?
That! You think I've got a clock in my head, don't you?!
FCFreakazoid, Cosgrove and Lobe
Ooh!
Freakazoid
What have you done with Longhorn and Cave Guy?
Have patience. You'll be joining them soon enough! [laughs maniacally for a moment] Sorry, I just thought of something funny...
Brilliantly deduced! Using the likes of Freakazoid, Caveguy, The Lobe, LEONARD MALTIN!, there'll be no stopping me!
[Lighting crashes.]
I'll build a private army of super apes and take over Cleveland!
Don't you mean the world?
I meant the world, yes... What did I say? Cleveland? I always do that.
FCFreakazoid, Cosgrove, Professor, and Villains
Ooh!
Now who wants to go first?
FCFreakazoid, Cosgrove, Professor, and Villains
[all pointing at each other] He does!
[Sparkle meows into Dr. Mystico's ear.]
Why didn't you do that before we got down here? I'll deal with you all shortly. Sparkle has to tinky.
From what ya tell me, it sounds like you can only use your telekinetic powers when you're really angry!
Freakazoid
Then I'll only use them when I'm really angry!
That's what I just said! Can you hear me or is there a wee goblin in your head eatin my words!?
Freakazoid
I... don't think there's a goblin in there...
Freakazoid
Why do I have to learn to move things with my mind?
Strength and speed will only take you so far, lad.
Freakazoid
It got me a second season.
You can't count on that! Networks are fickle, they can drop you like a man with big oak fingers!
AAnnouncer
Of course, this whole fight is just busy filler because our main episode came up short on footage. Great planning around here, huh?
Freakazoid
Joe, what are you doing?!
AAnnouncer
I'm tired of trying to cover for other people's mistakes!
Freakazoid
You've been getting a real attitude lately.
Freakazoid
You could be replaced by an intern, or maybe the announcer from Earthworm Jim!
Freakazoid
Yeah. Now stop buttin' in and stick to the copy!
[Freakazoid spends several off-camera minutes throwing himself at the invisible villain Invisibo, leaving him exhausted.]
Freakazoid
Y-you give up yet? Say, "Uncle Jimbo's flying poodles" and I'll go easy on ya.
IInvisibo
Uncle Jimbo- wait, I'm winning.
[Invisibo hurls Freakazoid through a wall.]
IInvisibo
Farewell, you clownish being. When I again rule all, perhaps I'll keep you about as a jester, or a chimp, or something.
[A large e-mail window appears]
EME-mail client
You've got some nice e-mail!
Freakazoid
Mail, for me? [Presses button, then reading] To Freakazoid, from Mandy Triceratops of Columbia University. My question concerns Pearl Jam. When will they appear on your show? Sincerely, Mandy. P.S. I am majoring in all the knowledge ever acquired throughout history. [Hauls window off-camera]
Those Columbia kids are pretty smart.
Freakazoid
Huh, they sure are! Mandy, not to rain on your girlish hopes but Pearl Jam will never appear on this program because they would want money.
Freakazoid! · 135 quotes
