[Frasier and Niles are in a bicycle shop]
Is there anything else we need?
Hmm, let me see. Oh yes, I know: we need to know how to ride them!
If a child of four can ride one, then so can we.
That's what we said when we were six!
Frasier · Season 10
[Frasier and Niles are in a bicycle shop]
Is there anything else we need?
Hmm, let me see. Oh yes, I know: we need to know how to ride them!
If a child of four can ride one, then so can we.
That's what we said when we were six!
Fraiser and Niles are try to act knowledgeable about bikes as another customer passes by
Call me crazy, but I like a bouncy tire.
Two bouncy tires and a taut chain. That's good ridin'
The customer walks away
Niles Where did you learn all of that? That was really good!
It's all a matter of confidence, Niles.
Dad, the inability to maintain adult relationships often has its roots in parent-child trauma.
What's your generation gonna do when we're all gone and there's no one left to blame?
[Niles learns of Frasier's new patient]
Very challenging case. The man has father issues, any number of neuroses and a phobia or two.
Sounds to me like you’ve hit the crackpot!
[Frasier tries to think of a solution to the shortage of caviar.]
What was the name of the boat...?
HMS Bounty!
This isn’t Trivial Pursuit. Let me finish!
[Martin, still frustrated at the amount of red tape he faces at the bank, takes a phone call in Frasier’s absence]
No, I'm sorry. Frasier isn’t here. Sure you can place an order. Here, let me transfer you to that department! [hangs up]
In elementary school, I made an ashtray for my dad. It caught fire.
Hey Fras', how was your trip to the accountant?
Fine, er, fine... why are all these lights on?
[Evelyn takes a phone call from her children’s nanny, then hangs up.]
Sorry about that. Susie got stuck in the laundry chute again.
Aww, poor thing. How old is she?
What's the difference? After tomorrow, she’s not our nanny any more.
Frasier has confided in Niles of how Bebe is trying to lure him back
I think I’ve figured it out. Bebe wants to have sex with a human male to bring about the Apocalypse.
I almost feel sorry for her. Just another helpless woman suffering from an unslakeable thirst…
[unison] …for Crane.
[Niles and Daphne are discussing names for a baby]
How about Desmond?
Hmm. "Desmond Crane, you are hereby sentenced to..." No, I don't like it. What about Jack?
'Fraid not. The first name ends with the same sound that begins the last name, so you either end up running them together — Jackrane — or you face the dreaded glottal stop. Jack—Crane. Jack—Crane. It's unpleasant for the throat.
This conversation’s unpleasant for the throat.
[Frasier, Niles, and Leland are singing the Major-General's song. Martin tries to fit in.]
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse, with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse—
With many awful facts about the scary hippopotamus!
[pause] What a wonderfully musical family you are.
Frasier joins Daphne in a very busy Nervosa
I've never seen this place so crowded. What's the occasion?
It's Mum's day off. Apparently, there was a mass e-mail.
Martin has gone to the shooting range with Niles
He asked me to take him, but then I suggested that, when it comes to guns, perhaps he would prefer someone of...(pause for effect) Niles's calibre. (chuckles to himself) I'm in rare form today.
(smiles, unamused) You should see this place when they know you're not coming.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.