A character in Frasier
Played by David Hyde Pierce
Frasier · 546 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Frasier: in 235 of its 546 quotes
Most scenes with: Frasier Crane (131), Martin Crane (35), Daphne Moon (25)
Martin is writing a letter, and Niles cannot help proofreading it over his shoulder
NilesIt's best not to end a sentence with a preposition.
(Martin writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to Niles)
NilesNot to be technical, but “off” is a preposition too.
[Niles explains why he doesn't like horse races.]
NilesIt's the jockeys, if you must know. Diminutive, underweight figures in expensive silks, wielding riding crops, just remind me too much of Maris.
NilesI've taken Maris to hundreds of these events and she has not once wanted to dance. Of course, Maris hates public displays of rhythm.
NilesAh, there he is! The man who floats like a lepidoptera and stings like a hymenoptera!
NilesI've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think: what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me? Mozart'll tell me he's busy but then later I'll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln!
NilesHer lips said "No," but her eyes said "Read my lips."
Daphne fills Niles in with Sherry's meat-based plans for the food at Martin's party
NilesI assume these colorful balloons are for the between-course angioplasty(!)
Niles establishes that Frasier was not exactly in love; just saw it as a possibility for the future
NilesWell, no wonder you're heartbroken; you've just lost the only woman you could even possibly sometime down the line perhaps fall in love with. I'm surprised the country music people haven't jumped all over this one!
Martin is practicing his song with Frasier and Niles. There is one particularly high note giving him trouble
NilesWhy don't you start here (“Oh night”)? And I want to hear you really attack the note.
Martin attempts the phrase of music, and at the ensuing sound Eddie buries his head under a cushion
NilesSometimes the note sees the attack coming and retreats.
In a flashback to Frasier and Niles at school, the pair don't think much of the lunch in the cafeteria
Young NilesThis lunch is a culinary Hindenburg!
Maris is ruthless in her pursuit of a divorce settlement
NilesWhen we were courting, I sent her a Valentine that said: "You're the girl my heart adores, everything I have is yours". Now they're calling it a pre-nup.
While Frasier waits in the hotel room, Lilith stealthily informs Niles, who is hiding in the en-suite, of his brother's amorous intentions
NilesDoes the man have no scruples? He specifically asked me last night to keep him away from you. But the minute my back is turned he sneaks back here and...(catches Lilith's eye) yes, I'm aware of the irony.
Niles has come to the police station to bail Frasier out.
Niles(to the desk sergeant) Excuse me, if you could get our bill together, we're ready to settle up here.
(fears that his feelings for Daphne will be made public in court)
NilesTomorrow everyone will know, including Daphne. And this is how she's going to find out. I wanted to whisper it to her over a candlelight dinner, not have it read back to her by a court stenographer.
Daphne is in the middle of an online conversation with Donny, and asks Niles what he is saying now
NilesEr, "I can't wait to come home and see my wittle Engwish cwumpet". Apparently he has some sort of typing impediment.
Frasier CraneKelsey Grammer · 372 quotes
Martin CraneJohn Mahoney · 109 quotes
Daphne MoonJane Leeves · 77 quotes
Roz DoylePeri Gilpin · 75 quotes
Lilith SterninBebe Neuwirth · 12 quotes
BulldogDan Butler · 8 quotes
BebeHarriet Sansom Harris · 5 quotes
GilEdward Hibbert · 4 quotes
HarryBrian Cox · 4 quotes
KirbyBrian Klugman · 4 quotes
CharlotteLaura Linney · 3 quotes
CChelsea3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.