NilesGot anymore hiding in the Grotto, Hef?
A character in Frasier
Played by David Hyde Pierce
Frasier · 546 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Frasier: in 235 of its 546 quotes
Most scenes with: Frasier Crane (131), Martin Crane (35), Daphne Moon (25)
NilesGot anymore hiding in the Grotto, Hef?
Niles[about his date] She was... a cat person. She brought her cat on our date. Well, she had good reason: it was Mr. Waggles's birthday. Actually, his birthday party. Actually, his surprise birthday party!
Frasier has just realized that the "game show" Martin wants to watch is The Antiques Roadshow, which he and Niles planned to watch
NilesI'll just check outside and see if the world has ended.
Mel has discovered from Frasier that Niles was with Maris the previous evening, and storms off
Niles(to Frasier) Anything else in the box, Pandora?!
Frasier is embarrassed that Emily just kissed him and is now about to leave.
NilesYou're embarrassed?! They think the best I can do is an old man with a cane!
Frasier observes that Niles is in a good mood, so Niles explains that he plans to disregard Mel's instructions and take Daphne out
NilesMel be damned! Daphne and I are going to have a romantic evening together at my apartment. Not only that; she's going in my car, in my back seat, under a pile of my coats and blankets!
NilesIt's like we wished it to happen, and then it did. Half of me feels guilty, the other half feels relieved... actually, it's about 30-70.
Frasier has confided in Niles of how Bebe is trying to lure him back
NilesI think I’ve figured it out. Bebe wants to have sex with a human male to bring about the Apocalypse.
[Frasier has just seen Frederick’s goth girlfriend, and is reeling from the shock]
NilesWell, at least he’s not dating outside the faith.
NilesI thought you liked my Maris!
I do, I... I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun... except without the warmth.
Thanks, Niles. You are a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.
NilesYou're a good brother, too.
NilesSo, how's Father?
Do you mean the man who's driving me crazy?
Or do you mean the man who drove me out of my own home?!
NilesAnd how's work?
NilesSorry I'm late, Frasier. Just as we were leaving, Maris had a run-in with a rude directory assistance operator, and it shattered her calm.
You know, Niles, have you ever considered that maybe Maris is a bit high-strung, that maybe she should see someone?
NilesShe's seen everyone. Why do you think she was calling directory assistance?
[Frasier cannot fathom why Martin stopped speaking to Irene after one phone call]
NilesWho knows why anybody does anything?
[looks incredulously at him] Remind me again what you do for a living.
How can anyone make a sound judgement about another person on the basis of one phone call?
Niles[looks back] Remind me again what it is you do for a living.
Frasier CraneKelsey Grammer · 372 quotes
Martin CraneJohn Mahoney · 109 quotes
Daphne MoonJane Leeves · 77 quotes
Roz DoylePeri Gilpin · 75 quotes
Lilith SterninBebe Neuwirth · 12 quotes
BulldogDan Butler · 8 quotes
BebeHarriet Sansom Harris · 5 quotes
GilEdward Hibbert · 4 quotes
HarryBrian Cox · 4 quotes
KirbyBrian Klugman · 4 quotes
CharlotteLaura Linney · 3 quotes
CChelsea3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.