Frasier Crane quotes from Frasier

Frasier

Basically, it's all the stress and humiliation of a blind date... times twelve.

Frasier

The story is: one upon a time, Niles Crane accidentally made a basket. The End!

Frasier

If I used you, it was only as the swift and terrible sword of Justice!

Frasier

At least whoever gets my seat on the plane will be happy.

Frasier

And screw, may I add, you!

Frasier

You know, by the way: you have an alphabetical misfile, but I'm not telling you where!

Frasier

Well, it certainly wasn't my finest hour. I got in, realized I made a mistake and then tried like hell to get out. There was a lot of shouting and then a line started to form behind me. You'd be surprised how long 20 minutes can be when you're watching the clock. Fortunately, my brother was there to serve as moral support, and, let's face it, someone to talk to. At least, in the end, I got out of there without paying the four dollars!

Frasier

(about Roz's cousin) She told me that my show was bourgeois. I then argued that anything that has mass appeal could be called bourgeois. She then said that my argument was bourgeois...which I happened to find jejune.

Frasier

[wailing] My car! Oh no, my caaaar! What did they do to you?! Oh, my baby...!

Frasier

Of course, we have several other candidates to interview, but I'll be sure to let you know by the twelfth... [closes the door] of never!

Frasier

(reading a note in Chelsea's office) Please excuse my daughter Ruby from P.E. She has a... "debilitating" disease. Nice try, Ruby.

Frasier

In elementary school, I made an ashtray for my dad. It caught fire.

Frasier

I'd like to strike you, of course, but you speak the truth!

Frasier

Welcome. Whether our journey together lasts for years or just one day, I can’t tell you how excited I am to take this first step with you.

Frasier

It's as if you'd forgotten that not three days ago I was... punched in the face...by a man now dead.

Frasier

Thank you!