A character in Frasier
Played by Kelsey Grammer
Frasier · 546 quotes
Most-quoted character in Frasier: in 372 of its 546 quotes
Most scenes with: Niles Crane (131), Martin Crane (61), Roz Doyle (50)
Roz and Bulldog are fighting in the studio, and Frasier is in no state to put up with them
FrasierAs we speak, hordes of viral Visigoths are hurling themselves over the battlements of my immune system, laying waste to my…Oh, dear God, you see how weak I am? I can't even finish a simple Visigoth metaphor.
Frasier tries desperately to convince his family
FrasierI am not crazy! I am dating a supermodel zoologist, whom I stole away from a professional football player, and she is off to the Galápagos Islands to artificially inseminate iguanas! Now is that so hard to believe?!
Frasier comes home to find speaker towers placed around his living room
FrasierDear God...It's Stonehenge.
Bebe confronts Frasier and presents him with a contract, promising that if he employs her again she will cut him a very good deal
FrasierIsn't there a zebra carcass somewhere you should be hovering over?
Niles has broken down in tears in the middle of his therapy group. Frasier is trying to keep the patients calm by claiming it is empathy
FrasierWe've had quite a catharsis here. Now, traditionally it is the patients that make the breakthroughs, but we mustn't be sticklers.
Frasier tells his family that he tried, and failed, to break up with Caitlin
FrasierWhy? Because I'm Frasier, and I'm a sexaholic!
Frasier tries to explain to Caitlin why he thinks things won't work out between them
FrasierI'm basically your stuffy, buttoned down sort of guy, you're a free-spirited, adventurous mouse-painting, moon-howling sort of girl!
FrasierNiles, Marie is a stunning woman with a body to die for, and you think all I'm interested in is her mind? How shallow do you think I am?
Frasier returns from a terrible evening at the karaoke bar
FrasierFor starters, Woody sang “What Kind of Fool Am I?” Quickly turned into an audience participation number. Then Gil and Noel did a charming duet with “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better”. They were both wrong.
Woody has announced he has to leave Seattle ahead of schedule, having learned that his daughter has an ear infection
FrasierGoodbye, Woods. (closes the door) God bless the virus that invaded that little girl's ear canal!
As soon as Niles has left, Frasier decides that he must not be upstaged at the lunch on account of his IQ
FrasierNiles will be sitting there rambling on with the geniuses about the cosmos, black holes, matter, antimatter, and I won't matter at all!
Daphne has a new and very powerful vacuum cleaner, but when she tries using it on Martin's chair it breaks down, with a small explosion
FrasierWell, apparently the "Dirt Scourge 2000" is no match for the "Dirt Pile 1957."
Niles and Frasier take their seats at Stefano's, underneath the new portrait
FrasierWell, there it is. Frasier Cranium!
Martin and Frasier observe the conversation between Niles and Mel. Frasier still has the figurine that Donny gave him
FrasierIsn't this all too typical? Niles leaves his wife for another woman, he gets a gift; I try to do the right thing, I get Mr Chump and a lawsuit!
FrasierHe has no instincts. He just stinks.
Niles CraneDavid Hyde Pierce · 235 quotes
Martin CraneJohn Mahoney · 109 quotes
Daphne MoonJane Leeves · 77 quotes
Roz DoylePeri Gilpin · 75 quotes
Lilith SterninBebe Neuwirth · 12 quotes
BulldogDan Butler · 8 quotes
BebeHarriet Sansom Harris · 5 quotes
GilEdward Hibbert · 4 quotes
HarryBrian Cox · 4 quotes
KirbyBrian Klugman · 4 quotes
CharlotteLaura Linney · 3 quotes
CChelsea3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.