Chris Griffin quotes from Family Guy

Lois

Chris, if people think I'm sleepin' with a student, I could go to jail. You know, you are gonna march into school tomorrow and tell everyone the truth.

Chris

I just wanted to be in with the cool kids no matter what. I saw popularity and I went for it.

Lois

Oh, honey, you wanted somethin' and you lied. You were manifesting.

Chris

I wouldn't use that awful term, but yes.

Chris, we've got less than one minute to get you aroused.

Chris

Um... okay.

Stewie

Close your eyes. You're a 19th century heiress alone in her vast estate and awaiting a visit from the handsome vicar as her dear aunt has recently passed from consumption.

Chris

Yeah, that... that's... nothing.

[sighs] Well, I'm not proud of what I'm about to say here, but... go to YouTube and type in "Brazilian Women's Olympic volleyball team practice."

We now return to ER.

Stewie

Edited for eastern medicine.

I need 10 CCs of--

Stewie

Jinseng root.

And somebody set this patient up--

Stewie

Goldfish to nibble his toes.

We're gonna lose him if we can't get our hands on some--

Stewie

Baby elephant bones.

He's coding!

There's just one chance: we need--

Chris

The lady doctors to kiss. I made some tweaks as well.