What difference could a pound make? None, unless I could fight somebody. [Chris gets beat down] Not even Don King could fix that match.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I could give you a letter, but you get "L" for loser.
You eatin' a Slopper?
You want a bite?
I'm takin' the girls and startin' my own group.
Called TMA: Too Much Attitude.
So I've been spendin' money on shakes while you've been wastin' money on food?!
Only my father would think food was a waste of money.
EEveryone
Yes.
I work two jobs and you let me leave the house with nothin' on my stomach but a fish juice shake?!
Not cool unless your husband's a shark.
If this is how you do it and you tryin' to get skinny, I'd rather have you fat.
That's what Kirstie Alley's man said to her.
Rice, rice, rice. Do you think all I knows is rice? I was there when George Washington Carver shucked that first peanut. I make yams and corn and cotton, but all America wants is them little grains of rice. I gives and I gives till I can't gives no more.
Chris, you're excused from all of your classes. Professor Lee will be taking them for you.
Is he smart?
Chris, he's Asian. If you could turn his smart into black, he'd be darker than Yaphet Kotto in a pot of chocolate.
Cool.
If Yaphet Kotto fell into your pot of chocolate, how would you know?
Aren't you gonna do something?
PLPrincess Latifah
Why don't you do something?
'Cause I'm the one auditioning you.
PLPrincess Latifah
No one talks to Princess Latifah like that! Next!
While Drew was takin' his first step towards the charts, I was makin' my first step toward the mat.
Since this is your first day on the mat, I'm gonna walk you through some moves. You watch wrestling on TV?
All the time. Hulk Hogan, André the Giant, the Iron Sheik. I love all those guys.
It's too bad, 'cause all that crap is fake.
They call me the Black Plague.
Isn't that an insult?
I'm just glad you winnin'. We don't wanna know the things they call Jackie Robinson.
If you really wanna know, ask Michael Richards or Don Imus.
Little dude from across the street's friend who lives across town!
GENE!!!
BSBackground Singers
Everybody hates Gene.
How are we supposed to get in?
Easy. Just wait three more years.
[to Julius] Don't worry. You're not having a party.
That's what the Democrats said to Hillary [Clinton].
Back at school, I was more depressed than the Fat Boys at a finger sandwich party.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.