You got the IDs?
Is Janet Jackson in control?
Yeah, but Michael isn't.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Drew couldn't see through his hand, but he could see through Ryan's BS.
RRyan
Gimme my 50 back.
That's what 50's girlfriend said to Vivica Fox.
[to Chris and Greg] If it isn't Bosco and Milk.
I didn't know what's more surprisin': my mother givin' my father the cold shoulder or my father givin' me cold cash.
You got a big future ahead of you.
A super-sized future.
At Hansel and Gretel, my mother laid down the law like the Big Bad Wolf.
While everyone else took the test, I took out the answers, and after the test results were in, I got called out.
Oh, Chris, I just never would have expected this out of you. I just don't see how you could do this.
When you're about to go down for a crime, everybody knows it's best to throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
Ms. Morello, I can explain. This test meant a lot to my mother.
I bet it did, and she must be proud of you. A perfect score on the PSAT test? That's unheard of in the history of this school! You're like a little chocolate Einstein!
More like chocolate Pinocchio.
The teams were all white, but unfortunately for them, the questions were all black.
Just because you do summer in the Vineyard, and you go swimmin' in the Inkpen, and you play the violin instead of the funky bass, and you eat those, all those stupid finger foods, does NOT make you better than somebody, OK!? My son is a good kid, and my husband is innocent! So, you know what? You can take your little Hansel and Gretel and you can shove it up your...
JWJudge Watkins
Lady, you're out of order!
NO!!! You're out of order! YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!! THIS WHOLE TRIAL IS OUT OF ORDER!!!
JWJudge Watkins
Get her out of here! GET HER OUT OF HERE!
Attica! ATTICA!!
I'm sorry, but Chris, you're back in your regular classes as of next week, and...
Yeah, I know. Detention.
No, that would be too easy. I'm making you stay on the Academic Scholastathon Team, and as your punishment, you can go on losing along with them. Listen, I have to go while I still have some hubcaps.
Too late!
[to Judge Watkins] And I don't know who you are, but I love a black man in a suit. Call me!
Boy, I oughta knock you into subspace.
Isn't that ridiculous?
MMan
Mission Control. That stupid black kid is outside of the space station.
[screams] Help me!!!!! [screaming continues]
SCStore Clerk
You're under arrest!
What!? What am I under arrest for?
SCStore Clerk
30 unpaid parking tickets from 1982!
Parkin' tickets?!
SCStore Clerk
Yeah, maybe next time you'll think twice before you try to cheat New York City out of a QUARTER!
Does this mean I don't get the free TV?
James "Bonecrusher" Smith is the first heavyweight champ with a college degree. The brother's smart.
Then why'd he go into the face-punchin' business?
You know what? I'll bet you $5 that he beats Tyson in Vegas next week.
It's like taking candy from a baby.
Who would do that?
CTCoach Thurman
Instead of being the Italian Stallion, you'll be the Black Stallion!
Hope I don't get sent to the glue factory!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.