Mr. Levine quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Next time you wanna do me a favor, do me a favor... don't.

Chris Rock

[narrating] In every city, people have disasters they need to survive. In Miami, they have hurricanes, in San Francisco, they have earthquakes, and in New York, we had blackouts. You never knew when one was gonna happen, and you didn't want to be on the street when it did.

Look out!

Mr. Omar

Hey, Chris. I can't believe this. There's rioting, looting, people are getting killed.

Chris Rock

I know, it's tragic.

Mr. Omar

"Tragic"? It's great. Stay up.

Chris Rock

[runs and sees an explosion and yells in shock] Oh! [knocks on door] Help! Let me in! There's a blackout!

Go away, get out of here!

Chris Rock

[narrating] Next to "We're the Jehovah's Witnesses. Can we have a minute of your time?", "Let me in! There's a blackout!" is the only guarantee somebody will not open a door.

Chris Rock

[knocks on door] Help! [grunts, but easily opens the apartment door, enters, and closes the door]

[cocks rifle] Hey! [Chris raises his arms] Don't you move a muscle.

Chris Rock

[narrating] I survived the blackout outside. Now I needed to survive the next worst thing: A white man inside.

Chris Rock

Do you think I stole something?

No, I'm just a freaky old man who likes to see the inside of pockets.

What are you, a Good Samaritan?

Chris Rock

[narrating] In Brooklyn, bein' nice only aroused suspicion.

Used to be an ice cream stand there.

Chris Rock

Oh, that's where they sell crack now.

That's where Jerry and Becky Rosenthal got married.

Chris Rock

Yeah. Now that's where Petey Pete got Tisha-T pregnant.

That's where Jacob Cohen got shot 30 years ago.

Chris Rock

Oh. That's where this guy is about to get shot right now.

Eat lead! [shoots a guy]

Chris Rock

Mr. Levine, it's me, Chris! Let me in! LET ME IN!!

Hey, hey, hey! Last time I let you in, I went to the hospital, almost got shipped to the farm... but you did me a favor, I saw my daughter, and me and Doc patched it up. You happy? Now, beat it!

Chris Rock

[narrating] And with that, Mr. Levine taught me everything I needed to know about white people.