Mr. Abbott quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Mr. Abbott

[to Chris] According to your test results, you put the "upid" in "stupid."

Mr. Abbott

[as Greg is about to go into his office wearing a dirty diaper] Nope, nope, nope. Get outta here, Funky Brewster.

Mr. Abbott

You can learn anywhere, Chris. You can learn by reading a fortune cookie. If you get hit by a truck, you learn not to walk out into traffic. If you smack Mike Tyson, you learn that you are gonna get your ass whupped.

Mr. Abbott

Do you know how many broke people went to college?

Chris

Not really.

Greg

I settled on being an astronaut. I'm... I'm wearing a diaper.

Mr. Abbott

A diaper? You mean, you wanna fly a rocket, but you're still gonna pee in your pants?

Greg

Well, they don't make you do it, but I wanted to see if I could take it.

Mr. Abbott

Nobody could take it, Greg. Now, get the funk outta my office.

Chris

Can you help me?

Mr. Abbott

Well, unless they hire Big Bird, I'm gonna have to.