Douglas Fargo quotes from Eureka

Holly

We should just have sex. Our budding urges are interfering with our professional ambitions.

Fargo

(momentarily speechless) Wait, "our" urges? You mean, like, mutual?

Holly

Definitely. So that's why I think the most sensible course of action is to satisfy them.

Fargo

What, now?!

Holly

Yeah. The sooner we consummate, the sooner we concentrate!

Fargo

(running with Holly) Maybe we should do some more practice questions. I mean, you can never be too prepared.

Holly

No, Doug, we went on this run to take our minds off the interviews!

An excellent idea. Best not to focus on the many, MANY ways that you could choke. (begins to ride off) Well, may the best man, blah, blah, blah...

Fargo

Oh, (exhales) now I'm really stressed. And kinda homicidal.

Good morning kids! I brought blueberry muffins and they're still warm.

Holly

Doug's favorite! That was very thoughtful of you Isaac.

Thank you.

Fargo

To a disturbing degree. [Aside to Holly] They're probably poisoned.

Fargo

What the frak happened?

Zane

Carter stole my girlfriend.

Fargo

Really?

Carter

No, well yea... ZANE, bigger issues!

Carter

The Andies have been fixing people who can't follow orders.

Fargo

Do these people seem happy to an almost creepy degree?

Carter

Yeah. Big time.

Fargo

We may know what they're using.

Holly

Isaac's ASS!

Carter

That seems unlikely.

Holly

Really Doug, a dragon?

Fargo

You weren't here; it had the claws and the wings

Holly

That doesn't change the fact they're mythical, as in... mythical!

Fargo

Mythical's just another word for not yet discovered.

Carter

How long between the switch flipping and the fireball of destruction?

Fargo

I can rig a delay that should buy you 10, 12 seconds.

Carter

I'm pretty relieved to be back in my body.

Fargo

Yeah, me too. You really had to go to the little boy's room.

Carter

Well... [Realizes] Tell me you didn't take me. Tell me you didn't use your boy hands down there!

Fargo

They were your hands!

Holly

Doug, why are you here?

Fargo

Because you're my Princess Leia.

Zane

Why don't you bring in a some of her favorite things. Ah, some music, photos your dorky little D&D game.

Fargo

That is not dorky.

Zane

Really? Yeah, it is, actually.

Allison

We're green across the board, well how do you like that, everything went perfect.

Fargo

It worked!

Carter

I cleared my whole morning for damage control.

Jo

Me too.

Carter

Coffee?

Fargo

Clicker! Who says you're not "sciency"!

Carter

Almost everybody.

Zane

I knew Jo was off, but not that off!

Allison

I can't believe this is happening.

Fargo

Tell me about it. My resurrected girlfriend is the Manchurian Candidate.