Jack Carter quotes from Eureka

Carter

Attention! Unruly... zombies.

Carter

Nothing like being pinned by a killer robot to make you want your mom.

Carter

[imitating Santa] Ho, ho, holy crap!

Carter

So first my PDA has a camera, and now black holes are everywhere? People need to know these things!

Carter

[After Martin's car explodes] Tough break college! Science is fun.

Zoe Carter

Listen-- dog.

Jack Carter

No, you listen, home girl--

Zoe

[pointing] No, dog!

Zoe

What if you don't make it back? I'll be stuck in here like those guys in the plane who had to eat each other.

You're right.

Zoe

I know.

Here. Here's some ketchup. Start at your feet, work your way up.

Carter

How long've you been in the tow business?

Henry Deacon

Oh, I don't do this for a living, I do this for fun! I just always liked fixing things. I was, uh, an engineer, back in the day.

Carter

As in trains?

Henry

Space shuttles.

Will your wife be joining you?

Carter

My wife? Oh, umm. [holds up hand with ring] Not likely. We're separated.

Was it the sex?

Carter

Excuse me?

Well, it's a common problem in long term relationships. People get bored, they want to experiment sexually, and they don't know how to express their needs.

Carter

Well, not that sharing my sex life with a total stranger doesn't sound like loads of fun, uh, at the moment my needs are a nap and a shower.

Deputy, where is the sheriff?

Jo Lupo

Can't you see I'm busy?

Ummm... Honestly?

Jo

You wanna know where the sheriff is? He's out on police business. Which is where I should be, instead of babysitting Felon Spice here.

Zoe

Hey!

Jo

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna stop doing your job, and start doing mine.

What're you doing out of your cell?

Zoe

I'm getting take-out for me and Jo. Turns out we have a lot in common.

Like what?

Zoe

Like fighting an oppressive patriarchal society to express our feminine power.

Allison

I still don't get it.

Carter

What's that?

Allison

Susan committing suicide. I mean, I know it sounds callous, but I don't care how bad things are, once you have a kid, you don't get to just... check out.

Carter

Well, my daughter Zoe said pretty much the same thing to me when I told her I was being transferred to Eureka.

Allison

Taking your life and taking a job are hardly the same thing.

Carter

In this town? Not so sure.

Carter

You two have a history.

Allison

You could say that.

Carter

Old boyfriend?

Allison

Not exactly.

Carter

Then, what exactly?

Allison

He's my husband.

Carter

It's not like we have a standard form to "undead" you.

Jo

Ahem.

Carter

Tell me you're kidding.

Jo

924/B. In triplicate.

Nathan Stark

There was an electrical problem with the computers, and then I saw something. A figure.

Carter

Are you saying someone was in your office?

Stark

Not someone. Something. It wasn't entirely corporeal.

Carter

Corporeal?

Stark

Physical. There and not there at the same time.

Carter

Are you saying you saw a ghost?

Stark

Sheriff. Director of Research of the most advanced scientific facility in the world doesn't see ghosts.