TV show quotes
[When Meg and Sarah walk in on Tony Gates and Neela making out on the couch]
Oh, my God.
Meg, Sarah, this is Neela.
[There is a small pause and Sarah runs out]
[in a voice dripping with contempt] How many times do I have to tell you Tony? [pauses] When you leave the glass directly on the wood, it leaves a stain.
Hope, would you drive a Lamborghini to a Laundromat? Hitch Seabiscuit to a plow? Have Eddie Van Halen play air guitar? I'm Dr. Morris. I don't do migraines!
[examining the X-ray of a patient] How'd he get an ice pick shoved in his ear?
Ran out of Q-tips?
The human shish kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.
Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?
Ok, alright, just for fun, let's pretend that you each have even a modicum of gray matter that you've somehow managed to fashion into some crude rudimentary semblance of a brain. Then you would know you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.
We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.
Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass. Not the same thing.
Hey, hey! Dr. Bobeck acted under my supervision and on my orders.
Perfect! It's the halfwit leading the dimwit!
Look, you obnoxious bore! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest when no one, not even surgery, would give him the time of day. Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine, it happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility, but at least we got off of our asses and tried to help.
Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!
Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow! You know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.
[Crenshaw stares at him for a moment, unable to form a reply, then leaves]
I could kiss you right now.
Really?
Umm...Now it's gone.
[while feeding Joe] Joe! Next time, try eating your apricots, not throwing them! [Joe smiles] Hey! You think this is funny? [Joe laughs, and Luka gently imitates his laughter, then puts the spoon down and sits him up in his high chair] Girls don't like it when you wear your food. Trust me.
Turns out, not everyone who experiments is gay.
Excuse me?
I'm talking about my brother, Chaz. It's like he said, it's just a phase.
Is that so?
Yep. You remember that girl he took home for Thanksgiving?
Um hmm.
Well, she spent the night. My brother's straight!
Gee, Greg, you must be so proud.
What? No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, uhh...well, you, you know.
Yeah, and you're not my only black friend.
When Jasna and the kids died, I needed to make a change, and I decided to move here. Made my brother really angry. He said that I was a coward, and that I was running away. And it's only recently that I've come to know that he was wrong. I wasn't running away from anything. I was running to you. And I'll never let anything take this away.
Don't you know that there's a rule that if millions of kids believe in the same thing, it becomes real?
That's not a rule.
Yeah. Every time you're generous, or thoughtful, or help someone who needs help, that's a little bit of Santa too.
If we have a problem man, just spit it out, 'cause I don't speak bitchy.
Oh, you seem pretty fluent to me.
...
[to Ray and Tony] Why don't you either slap each other silly, or kiss now and get it over with?
At the end of the day, it's just us in the mirror. We're the ones who determine our own moral value. And to me, that's what Christmas is all about.
It is like some dorky angel has taken control of my mouth.
That little tosser just called me a whore.
She seems so sweet.
I've never been called a whore!
Did she say "dirty whore" or "filthy whore"?
Is there a difference?
Depends on the whore.
You must be that guy who's always riding Uncle Tony. You know, like a bull in heat?
Shh!
So, uh, what else does Uncle Tony say about me?
The rest I'm not allowed to say.
You remember when we lived in that trailer?
You guys lived in a trailer?
It was a mobile home.
That's uppity for "trailer."
You're firing me? And this is how you tell me?
There's no good way.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
