Hope quotes from E.R.

Hope

Everybody needs something to believe in.

Hope

Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?

Jesus from accounting?

Hope

I lied to Samantha about something- and now she's really steamed.

Oooh- bad move. Piss one nurse off, piss 'em all off- it's like the mafia.

The human shish kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.

Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?

Ok, alright, just for fun, let's pretend that you each have even a modicum of gray matter that you've somehow managed to fashion into some crude rudimentary semblance of a brain. Then you would know you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.

Hope

We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.

Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass. Not the same thing.

Hey, hey! Dr. Bobeck acted under my supervision and on my orders.

Perfect! It's the halfwit leading the dimwit!

Look, you obnoxious bore! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest when no one, not even surgery, would give him the time of day. Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine, it happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility, but at least we got off of our asses and tried to help.

Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!

Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow! You know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.

Hope

I could kiss you right now.

Really?

Hope

Umm...Now it's gone.

Abby

[to a patient who happens to work in a bakery] What's the deal with wedding cakes? How come they are so expensive? I saw one that cost $2,000.

Hope

Can you really put a price on the most special day of your life?

Abby

Mmm, what if it sucks?

Hope

[slamming her locker door] I knew it!

Abby

[startled] What?

Hope

You're getting married.

Abby

Am not!

Hope

Well, why are you looking in the wedding mags?

Abby

Because they're... they're... they're... there!

Hope

And why were you asking all the wedding cake questions earlier?

Abby

I was... I was curious.

Hope

Okay, fine. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not getting married.

Abby

No!

Hope

Why not?

Abby

Because that's stupid. [contemplates that thought, then looks into Hope's eyes] I am not getting married. [she looks away]

Hope

You looked away. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Hope

When I was 8, I found this book in my parents' bedroom: Sex and the Christian Marriage. And the very first page, it said, "Orgasms bring a couple closer to God." So that night at the dinner table, I asked my parents what an orgasm was.

What did they say?

Hope

An orgasm is a very special kind of prayer. Which is fine, and actually kind of sweet. But like, later that week, I had my first sleepover at a friend's house, so her mom asked me what my bedtime routine is, and I said "Bath, tooth brushing, orgasm, sleep."

You did not!

Hope

I did! I was never invited back.