CCrenshaw
Mrs. Draper is back for her 27th hospital admission status, post-pancreatic pseudocyst.
CCrenshaw
Yes, somebody needs to tell her the hospital stopped giving out frequent-flier miles. Oh, and she's a chronic rectal discomfort, and you two get to work her up and review her old charts.
CCrenshaw
No, why don't you just forget all about visits 6, 13, and uh, what do you think, 21? Yeah, that should keep it interesting. It'll be like playing patient roulette.
CCrenshaw
The human shish kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.
Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?
CCrenshaw
Ok, alright, just for fun, let's pretend that you each have even a modicum of gray matter that you've somehow managed to fashion into some crude rudimentary semblance of a brain. Then you would know you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.
We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.
CCrenshaw
Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass. Not the same thing.
Hey, hey! Dr. Bobeck acted under my supervision and on my orders.
CCrenshaw
Perfect! It's the halfwit leading the dimwit!
Look, you obnoxious bore! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest when no one, not even surgery, would give him the time of day. Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine, it happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility, but at least we got off of our asses and tried to help.
CCrenshaw
Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!
Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow! You know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.
[Crenshaw stares at him for a moment, unable to form a reply, then leaves]
I could kiss you right now.
E.R. · 1,278 quotes
