Hope, would you drive a Lamborghini to a Laundromat? Hitch Seabiscuit to a plow? Have Eddie Van Halen play air guitar? I'm Dr. Morris. I don't do migraines!
“Tell Me No Secrets...” · Season 13, Episode 10
In this episode: Morris (2), Luka Kovač (1), Kerry Weaver (1), Greg Pratt (1), Tony Gates (1), Hope (1), Crenshaw (1)
KKatey
[examining the X-ray of a patient] How'd he get an ice pick shoved in his ear?
Ran out of Q-tips?
The human shish kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.
Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?
Ok, alright, just for fun, let's pretend that you each have even a modicum of gray matter that you've somehow managed to fashion into some crude rudimentary semblance of a brain. Then you would know you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.
We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.
Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass. Not the same thing.
Hey, hey! Dr. Bobeck acted under my supervision and on my orders.
Perfect! It's the halfwit leading the dimwit!
Look, you obnoxious bore! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest when no one, not even surgery, would give him the time of day. Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine, it happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility, but at least we got off of our asses and tried to help.
Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!
Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow! You know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.
[Crenshaw stares at him for a moment, unable to form a reply, then leaves]
I could kiss you right now.
Really?
Umm...Now it's gone.
[while feeding Joe] Joe! Next time, try eating your apricots, not throwing them! [Joe smiles] Hey! You think this is funny? [Joe laughs, and Luka gently imitates his laughter, then puts the spoon down and sits him up in his high chair] Girls don't like it when you wear your food. Trust me.
Turns out, not everyone who experiments is gay.
Excuse me?
I'm talking about my brother, Chaz. It's like he said, it's just a phase.
Is that so?
Yep. You remember that girl he took home for Thanksgiving?
Um hmm.
Well, she spent the night. My brother's straight!
Gee, Greg, you must be so proud.
What? No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, uhh...well, you, you know.
Yeah, and you're not my only black friend.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.