Susan Lewis quotes from E.R.

Abby

How did you manage to last this long without some girl marrying you?

Carter

We come with a built-in gold-digger alarm. My grandmother installs them at birth.

Susan

And I haven't set it off? You'd better have that thing checked.

Carter

It's embarrassing. Everybody assumes when you grow up with money everything's great.

Susan

Yeah, it must have been hard growing up in the mansion. Was Gamma too cheap to heat the pool?

Abby

Do you think they're trying to impress us?

Susan

If they are, it's not working. [Luka and Carter clash, and Carter thrusts his foil-point against Luka's chest, winning the first bout] Ouch! Doesn't that hurt?

Abby

They really are a pair of freaks.

Susan

They really are. [laughs] And to think, you slept with both of them!

Abby

Ah, I- never slept with Carter. He tell you that?

Susan

[surprised] I thought you had!

Abby

No- that was a rumor that Carter started.

Susan

[stares at Carter] Oh, God! That is low! [Luka wins the next bout]

Abby

I thought so.

Susan

I haven't slept with Carter either.

Abby

How long have you guys been going out?

Susan

Couple of months.

Abby

Well, that definitely violates the second date rule.

Susan

What second date rule?

Abby

My friend has this theory that you should sleep with the guy by the second date because if the sex isn't good, you shouldn't waste your time with someone you don't have any chemistry with.

Susan

[nods thoughtfully] Hmm. Well, I don't know if Carter and I have any chemistry or not. There have been some almost spark moments.

Abby

I think it's either there, or it's not. You can't force it- believe me, I've tried.

Susan

I think part of the problem with Carter and me is you. He denies it, but it's not really convincing. What did you two have?

Abby

[shrugs] Timing.

Carter

Ah, the smell of fresh med students in the morning.

Susan

What is it about them? They all seem so...

Frank

Gullible, immature, vapid?

Susan

I was going to say "sweet".

Carter

I got stabbed, Lucy got killed, and today, Abby and Chen get a gun to their heads. I'm sorry, no. It's got to stop. Otherwise, it's not worth doing.

Susan

I know, Carter. You're an emergency room doctor. It's about getting through the shift.

Chen

[to Gallant and Harkins] Okay, alright, settle down. This is a teaching hospital, not Medical Jeopardy.

Susan

[enters the room] Where are all the doctors?

Chen

Who are you looking for?

Susan

Anyone! Carter, Weaver, Pratt- I'm not picky.

Chen

Uh- Carter's stuck in Triage, Pratt's on at midnight, and Weaver's MIA.

Susan

What else is new?

Chen

[remembers] Kovac is sleeping.

Susan

[sarcastically] With who? I thought he was suspended.

Malik

Just say no to drugs and double bacon cheeseburgers.

You know, his size was probably something he couldn't control.

Susan

Especially if he was running downhill.

Susan

I so need a margarita. Are you ready?

Chen

I think I'm gonna pass.

Susan

Oh, come on. I hate drinking alone. I mean I'll do it, but...

Susan

You're late.

Luka

Blame my alarm clock.

Susan

What's her name?

Chen

Sorry, she's one of my Mathletes. Anastasia, you're going to have to go over there and sit with the rest of the team.

Susan Lewis

Mathletes?

Chen

Yeah, she's on the math team. They compete in math tournaments.

Susan

Oh yeah, we used to call them "geeks."

These numbers, discovered in different cultures, in different centuries, all add to zero, proving the universe is perfect. Proving the existence of God.

Susan

Hey, I can't even prove I paid my gas bill.

Susan

[about Luka] I think maybe you should talk to him. He seems a little depressed.

Abby

He's European. That's his baseline.

Her boyfriend cheated on her and she went on a banana-split spree.

Luka

So you called 911?

I didn't. She did. She wanted to get her stomach pumped. She must have ate, like, 50,000 calories. Sometimes she binges and purges.

Luka

Sometimes? She's lost her gag reflex from sticking her finger down her throat so many times.

Susan

Luka, obviously she has an eating disorder.

Luka

No. I'll tell you what an eating disorder is. It's when a mother hasn't eaten in six days because she's giving what little food she has to her three children. She just cost the hospital three thousand dollars and for what? So she doesn't put on a pound? [walks out]

Susan

Luka...

It's cheaper than liposuction.

Susan

[about her blind date] Let's put it this way: I almost had to fake it.

Chen

An orgasm?

Susan

A seizure.

Susan

So, you're Julia?

Julia

Yeah, you're Susan.

Susan

Yeah, I work at the hospital.

Julia

I know. Sean said that you were the only doctor he ever met who was like a friend. And, um, that you were hot.