Kerry Weaver quotes from E.R.

Kerry

Hey Haleh, can you pass me a head-C and a three-pack of Vicodin? [to Hope] I'll get him started on something for the pain-

Haleh

Sorry. We got rid of head-C's about a year ago, and we're not allowed to dispense meds from the ER anymore.

Kerry

So what's a patient supposed to do if they can't get to a pharmacy?!

Haleh

You are preaching to the choir, sister- I liked it better when you ran the joint.

Ray

I move my hips!

Kerry

Then move them over to admit.

You turned down the chance to be the next Sanjay Gupta? Are you insane, woman?

Kerry

I have no interest in fluff pieces about sunburns and bee stings.

What's wrong with fluff? Half the patients who come through here are fluff! I'm the king of fluff!

Frank

Word is, you're the best fluffer in town.

How do you come down from something like that?

Kerry

Err, a glass of wine and a hot bath at the end of the day help.

Mmm, sounds good to me!

Kerry

Errr, alright... [walks off playing nervously with her hair]

Kerry

Wow, I hope you didn't get that hitting a patient.

Pratt

Intern.

Kerry

Why are you even here?

Pratt

Paracentesis on a patient Gates couldn't handle.

Kerry

Welcome to being an attending. Wait, you didn... you... you and Gates didn't... You know what? I don't need to know!

Pratt

[about Courtney Brown] Who was that?

Kerry

I just told you who she was.

Pratt

C'mon, hook a brother up-

Kerry

You know, your gaydar is terrible, even for a straight man.

Pratt

Oh. Well [chuckles] You have excellent taste in women, Dr. Weaver.

Kerry

Of course I do.

Pratt

Hey, um... can I ask you something personal?

Kerry

Maybe. [smiles]

Pratt

Ok. How, um...When [pauses] did you know you were gay?

Kerry

Are you coming out to me, Greg?

Pratt

No, no, no, no. I came home and found my brother with another guy.

Kerry

Really?

Pratt

Yeah. He says he's just experimenting, that it's only a phase.

Kerry

And what do you think?

Pratt

I don't know. Can a straight guy go through a gay phase?

Kerry

I think it's more likely that he's gay. Hey, and he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

Kerry

All right; how do you stay so skinny and eat so much?

Uh, look who's talking, little skinny mini.

Pratt

Well, it seems like good genes to me.

You want to come over and watch some football with me and Kerry tomorrow?

Pratt

[whispering to Kerry] Damn, you're lucky.

Pratt

Turns out, not everyone who experiments is gay.

Kerry

Excuse me?

Pratt

I'm talking about my brother, Chaz. It's like he said, it's just a phase.

Kerry

Is that so?

Pratt

Yep. You remember that girl he took home for Thanksgiving?

Kerry

Um hmm.

Pratt

Well, she spent the night. My brother's straight!

Kerry

Gee, Greg, you must be so proud.

Pratt

What? No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, uhh...well, you, you know.

Kerry

Yeah, and you're not my only black friend.

Kerry

You're firing me? And this is how you tell me?

Luka

There's no good way.

Abby

I just want to say that, you've probably seen me at my best... and, at my worst. And even though we didn't always see eye-to-eye, um... you helped me go from a nurse, to a medical student, to a doctor... to a mom. [both she and Kerry are suppressing tears]

Kerry

I'm the one who's supposed to be upset here.

Abby

I know, sorry. [pause]

Kerry

You were always there, as a nurse, and as a doctor... and most importantly, you've always been here, as my friend. [pause, she tearfully hugs Abby, who returns the embrace]

Abby

Do you think this happens to the guys when one of them leaves?

Kerry

[laughs] I heard Carter bawled like a baby when he left.

Abby

I'll miss you.

Kerry

Thank you.

Kerry

Luka... take care of this place for me.

Luka

I will.

Carter

Ill begotten gains of my Carter forefathers put to good use.

Kerry

Redemption?

Carter

Maybe so.

Susan

Your grandma would be so proud.

Carter

Grandfather's rolling over in his grave. He thought the Carter fortune would last longer than the pyramids.

Susan

You spent it all?

Carter

No. But most of it.

Kerry

You've done a great thing here, John. Truly great.

Kerry

Well I - I can't believe you were actually able to pull this off.

Carter

You had doubts?

Kerry

No. I-I was pretty sure you were gonna fail.