Mark Greene quotes from E.R.

Mark

What's Benton doing?

Carter

Out looking for Dr. Dyer. It's about his mother though. Figures if he can't make her better then he'll fix everything else.

Doug

Carter, I think you took one too many Psych classes.

Mark

You did some of your residency with Kerry Weaver?

Doug

Yeah, when we crossed paths.

Mark

Morgenstern wants me to consider her for chief.

Doug

Really?

Mark

That bad?

Doug

Did you ever see Cuckoo's Nest?

Mark

Are the meetings always this eventful?

Carol

This one was kinda boring. No-one tried to take a swing at each other.

Mark

An exciting case? Here's one: Guy comes in, hypovolemic shock. Defibrillated ten, fifteen times. We maxed out on lidocaine, added bretylium, finally shocked him back to sinus, goes bradycardic. So I float a transvenous pacemaker, get capture, he stops breathing. I had to climb on, intubate him cowboy-style right there on the table.

Wendy

Wow.

Mark

Man.

Wendy

What happened?

Mark

He died.

Mark

Did you get the job?

Doug

90 grand a year and nobody dies. Hallelujah, auf Wiedersehen, I'll see you around.

Mark

What's he doing on a news chopper?

Jerry

[Jerry points to the TV] Hey look there's Doctor Ross.

Malik

Turn up the volume.

Wendy

Where's the remote?

Mark

[speaks into the radio] Doug, do you read me?

Doug

Mark, is that you?

Mark

What are you doing?

Doug

I got a 12-year-old with hypothermia. I gotta warm him up fast! I'm doing the best I can.

Doug

He's in V-Fib!... Come on!

What are those paddles for Dr. Ross?

Doug

Stabilize his beat. They didn't charge the battery!

Mark

[Watching in the ER] Oh my God!

Doug

GOD!

Doug

All right, I need your help. Turn the camera off... Turn the camera off!

Mark

Doug, you're a mess. Go change into some scrubs.

Mark

You're freezing. Go get some coffee and warm up.

Mark

Hey! I need you here! Go change!

Doug

[Doug starts to leave] I never should have put him on that damn chopper!

Mark

So, you can't take the fact that I'm your boss?

Doug

Typically narcissistic of you, Mark. I can't take the fact that anyone's my boss.

Mark

You're way outta line, Doug, go back to your patient.

Doug

My patient is going to CT.

Mark

No, he's not. This kid is going to CT now.

Doug

Fine, then mine's going to the OR for an exploratory lap.

Mark

Like hell he is, you are not putting a patient under the knife just tryin' to win a pissing contest.

Doug

You're damn right, I'm not. I'm doing it so he doesn't bleed out while you tie up the CT for a skull fracture.

Mark

Go home!

Doug

What?

Mark

I'm taking over your patient.

Doug

What?

Mark

And writing you up. Go home!

Carol

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....uhhh....

Doug

12 tone-deaf doctors.

Mark

11 lords a lording.

Susan

10 drummers drumming.

Carter

9 something, something.

Lydia

8 maids a milking.

Malik

7 swans a swatting.

6 geese a gagging.

5 golden rings! 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

Susan

Do you have anything to eat?

Mark

I think there's some haggis left over.

Susan

What's that?

Mark

Don't ask...

Doug

What are you doing here on your day off?

Mark

I went for a jog and ended up here, and I figured I might as well save some lives.

Doug

One other good reason not to exercise.

Mark

Denial is a funny thing; it keeps you from asking the tough questions.

Susan

What questions are those?

Mark

Am I dangerous? Should I be practicing medicine?

Susan

And the answers are: no and yes, in that order.

Mark

I hope so. I lost my family for this job.

Doug

Boy, are you arrogant! There's you and the Pope. You guys are infallible. And then there's the rest of us.

Mark

Well, as of today, the Pope's on his own.