Manny Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

By the way, the samurai is bringing his son, who will be staying with us for a while, in your room. [gestures to Manny]

[shocked and offended] What?! I have to share my room?!

[laughs] Of course not. You'll be bunking with Señor Chapi.

Manny

[losing it; irritated] I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! We're gonna be stuck with Toshiro forever! There's no way he could beat a supervillain, never, forget it, not a chance!

Frida

Can't we buy him a practice one, like a training nemesis?

Manny

Buy one, that's it! We'll just find a bad guy we can pay to take a dive.

Frida

Here is my life savings. Anything to get rid of the mighty politey!

Manny

Frida, I got busted! I gotta go home after school. I can't go to the Festival of Flammable Things!

Frida

NO!!! We saved for months to buy those tickets! Betrayal! How could you... [realizes] Oh, wait. I got busted, too.

Manny

Oh, yeah, for what?

Frida

Glued my sisters together again.

Manny

[laughs] Ah, that just never stops being funny.

Frida

So now I gotta floss the dogs' teeth. What'd they nab you for?

Manny

Well, Granpapi got a new cane. And he told me not to touch it or "terrible things would happen."

Frida

So, obviously, you had to touch it.

Manny

Well, yeah. But before I could reach it…

Manny! I have only one rule. And you break it. Which make me want to do the happy dance. But also make you in trouble! Rodolfo, discipline your boy. Keep up the bad work. [clicks tongue and leaves]

Rodolfo

[points to Manny; sternly] Grandpapi told you not to touch that cane. You will come home immediately after school, and clean up Señor Chapi's cage.

The little donkey boy is trying to stop the giant robot? [Manny and Frida both nod yes] Then he's our only hope. Go, little donkey boy. GO!

Davi, you can maybe do it!

Frida

All right, Davi! Hit… anything!

[to Manny and Frida] Muchas gracias. I never could have done it, if you guys hadn't made me train by doing all those chores for you.

You made him do what?!

[shrugging] Guh.

Manny

[whispering] Can't believe you stole my belt.

Frida

Manny! How'd you know where I'd be?

Manny

Are you kidding?! You spend more time here than Sartana does.

Frida

[upset] I'm sorry I took your belt, Manny. I wanted to feel powerful, just for once.

Manny

Then how come you took it for twice?

Frida

Why are you whispering anyway?

Manny

So Sartana doesn't hear… [yelps as Sartana catches him]

Frida

MANNY!

[holding him up] Ah, the one true Tigre. You will make a fine skeleton bandito. Once I strip off all your bothersome flesh! [sharpens her razor-sharped claws to kill him as Frida frees herself from her cell] Now you know how it feels to be powerless, eh?

Manny

Want to go to the arcade?

Frida

Five minutes, tops. [transit to the Mayan Arcade] Well, time to go home and write that masterpiece. [notices the nighttime sky] Why is the sky so dark?

Manny

We were in there for five hours.

Frida

[looks down at Manny's pair of Zebra Donkey underwear] Dude, awesome… underpants.

Manny

[firmly] Listen to me. No one must ever know of this, NO ONE!

Frida

My dreams are finally coming true! Except for the one where my mom is a giant snail, only she's really a post office.

Manny

Yeah, that's really, uh, good. Hey, do you think maybe people are getting sick of hearing that same song?

Frida

[gasps in shock] What are you trying to do, jinx me?! We're going on "Caliente o Basura" today, the whole city will be watching!

Manny

Tough audience, huh?

Frida

[incredibly enraged] You JINXED me!

Manny

What?! You totally trashed me and I still had your back!

Frida

Hey, I put your name in an awesome hit song! And what do you do? You jinx me with your jinxy-winxy-backstabbing JINX!

Manny

[unamused] Uh-huh. Call me when you remember how to be a friend again. [walks off]

We're live from the prison graveyard for the Atomic Sombreros, "Back from La Muerte" show! Sartana may be evil incarnate, but she has put together kickin' concert!

Manny

[sitting on the sofa; grumpily] My worst nightmare is on TV. [now outraged] AND IT PRE-EMPTIED WRESTLING!

Frida

Manny, I'm sorry.

For being a selfish jerk who cared more about being a rock star than she did about her best friend?!

Frida

Well, yeah. And for this. [kicks the "I" off, letting Manny fall while he screams]

Frida's goggles! NOOOOOOOOO! [Frida lands on top of him] You're okay. And I'm not.

Frida

Yeah, I… [gasps] My goggles! NOOOOOOOOO! Haven't I paid enough for my rock star jerkiness?!

Uh, no.

What do we got here, pardners?

El Oso

It's El Tigre and Puma Loco, man. Do you have any eyes or something?

Oso! Dr. Chipotle Sr. suggests you get rid of this hideous creature!

El Oso

Creature? He my twin brother, El Ossito! We exactly alike, man!

Let's get to what we came for.

Yes! It's time… To sign up for the Supervillain Grand Prix!

Voltura

Puma Loco, this illegal street race is for villains only!

Aren't you saying I am NO VILLAIN, VOLTURA?!

Lady Gobbler

Not you, the boy! He more like a hero than a villain, lately.

Me? Ha! Would a hero do this? [gives Dr. Chipotle Sr a wet willy]

A wet willy?!

Dr. Chipotle Sr. still feels that El Tigre should be DISQUALIFIED!

But I gotta be in the race! Me and Grandpapi always do it together.

Grandpapi

Leave Miracle City (forever)? I was going to say we wash their cars for a month.

Manny

I don't know what happened, I just got caught up in the moment and… [grabs his grandfather by the arm] we really gotta win this race!

Grandpapi

Oh, we going to win. Check this out. [presses a button on the remote, opening the garage door] The Rivera-mobile!

Manny

Whoa.

And I got us the best mechanic churros can buy.

Frida

Dude, this car's all full of, like, parts and junk.

Manny

Frida, you don't know anything about cars.

Frida

It's okay, I got two assistants. [gesturing to Señor Chapi and Little Mule]

Manny

Eeh… Yeah.