Manny Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

It's like the villains are working together to make sure we lose!

Grandpapi

Imposible. Villains don't know the meaning of the word "teamwork." Or "eggplant."

Do they know the meaning of the word, "I'm gonna kick your butt?!"

The bridge is up and we're not going fast enough to jump it! Frida, we have to make it! Everything's writing on this!

Frida

I know, I know! Now which button…

FRIDA!

Frida

Trying!

Manny

Battle stations, Suárez. It's time for… Fudgement Day!

Frida

T-minus 3, 2, 1, FUDGE!

Manny

Raul, the world's greatest mustache! I haven't seen you since our big adventure. [smiles dreamily as he remembers the events from "The Mustache Kid" when Raul was first created] What? The police are after you? But… Hide, Raul!

Frida

Hi, Dad. What do you think of Manny's new look?

Manny

Hey, you can't… [painfully] YOW!!!!

Emiliano

You're coming with us, hairball!

Manny

[demanding] Let him go!

Emiliano

This mustache committed a major felony. Last night, some fiend stole the jewel-encrusted mace belonging to Municipal President Rodriguez. We found this. [holds up some mustache wax] Mustache wax, Raul's brand, and he was fleeing the scene. This mustache is going to jail for a long time!

Manny

He'd never do something like that!

Frida

We would, but not Raul.

Manny

[determined] I'll prove Raul is innocent! He and I will go undercover in the Mustache Mafia and find the mace.

Frida

You're doing what now?

Manny

I can handle those mop pinheads. What's the worse that could happen?

[holding an injured Raul; tearfully] Oh, what have I done? This is all my… [Raul reveals he was faking his injury and is okay; gasps in surprise, then smiles] You truly are the world's greatest mustache.

Hey, before you go, I think I figured a less painful way for you to get off my face. [Raul springs from Manny's face and flies away] For once, would you… [painfully] YOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!! [falls on his back and passes out]

Frida

[laughs] That never stops being funny.

Manny

Why do we have to get all gussied up for dinner?

Maria

Grandpapi has something important to tell us.

Rodolfo

[excitedly] Perhaps he's finally getting me that pony he promised me for my 10th birthday!

A pony? [opens his birthday present, which is revealed to be a cactus pot, gets poked by its thorns while hopping on it, and screams in pain]

Rodolfo

I did say perhaps.

Frida

[alarmed in horror] Sartana of the Dead!

Rodolfo

[fiercely] You dare intrude upon my father's special day?! [he and Manny change into White Pantera and El Tigre, preparing to take her down]

Grandpapi

You're making a mistake!

Don't worry, we'll get rid of this filthy garbage before your fiancée gets here. [he and his father start charging at Sartana together]

Grandpapi

[gets in the way, defending her] NO! [Manny and Rodolfo crash into him] You no understand. This filthy garbage, she is my fiancée! [Sartana waves sweetly and they both hold hands]

[dreamily] Pumey, the love of my afterlife.

[not believing it; shocked] It's like a horrible dream.

Frida

Or a really romantic nightmare.

ARE YOU ALL NUTS?! This is Sartana of the Dead, our most dangerous enemy! We have to stop this!

Maria

It is Grandpapi's decision. We must respect it, no matter how unsafe, demented, and revolting it is.

Grandpapi

Thank you.

Manny, I hope that one day you will call me, Grandmami.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!!! [continues screaming as time goes by and stops] Whoa, how long have I been screaming?

Frida

Eh, a couple hours. We tried to stop you for while, but everyone got tired and went to bed.

Sartana's up to something. This is all a plan to destroy Grandpapi. We will drive a wedge between them and stop the wedding. This I swear!

[bursting into the church, and crashing the wedding] WHERE IS JEWEL?!

Maria

[to Manny; sternly] Manny, did you do something?

Manny

I stole Monsterzuma's jewel so he'd wake up and track it down and destroy the wedding. Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Lady Gobbler

I here to play the darts!

Yeah? What kind of loot you got?

Lady Gobbler

[takes her glass eye off her face and sets it down on the table] This! I bet my glass eye against… your El Tigre belt.

My belt? Psh. For that? [starts to walk away] Forget it.

Lady Gobbler

You Riveras are chicken!

Manny

[takes off his El Tigre belt and sets it down on the table in fury, having to have heard that] My belt against your eye! One dart!

Frida

But, Manny, you stink without your Tigre powers.

Manny

Family honor will guide my aim. [throws the dart at a photo of Dr. Psyclopsis, missing the target; shaking his fist] CURSE YOU, FAMILY HONOR!

Rodolfo

We'll demolish evil doers with relentless force!

Manny

[Changes into El Tigre] Yeah!

Rodolfo

While discussing your grades, plans for college and your most private feelings!

Manny, my son. Are you ok?

Eh, I think I bit my tongue.

[gasps] NO!!!! [points to the Titan; fiercely] You have done this thing! Your mind is still twisted by jealousy and evil!

I just wanted things to be like the old days, Rodolfo. Please, don't make me do this.

Do what?

THIS! SQUIDS, ATTACK! DESTROY THE RIVERAS!!!

Now, to stop the Titan!

Mira! [points to the Titanium Titan riding on a giant squid]

[laughing evilly] I'll be back! I'll be back! [a whale emerges from the ocean and eats him] It may take a while.