Can't talk. Eating fried pie. Experiencing nirvana.
S3Charlotte and Wilbur
The future's going to throw things at you, like it or not. I say 'Bring it on'.
[to Warren] Are you here to join us or are you going to strip naked and show us your number two pencil?
[discovering his colon polyp is benign] Well hello red meat and cigars!
S3The Divorce
[to Carol, about Ed] If you care enough about the person, you may never get over it.
[to Ed] Is your brain made out of linoleum all of a sudden?
S3May the Best Man Win
Oysters are pretty blank in the brain department, especially when they're fried.
[narrating a slide show] Here's Carol and Dennis becoming a 'we'.
[to Ed, thinking Jen is a stripper] Jennifer. Huh. How do these dancers come up with these names?
[to Ed, on why he and Dennis will never be friends] You hate that Carol's marrying him and he hates that Carol should be marrying you.
[about Ed's work ethic] I thought, hmmmm, he must be Amish.
S3The Wedding
[to Warren] You have created a level of lameness that can only be recreated under pure laboratory conditions.
[eating ice cream with Stella at the cemetery] Here we are enjoying all this creamy deliciousness and there they are, dead.
I fear losing my virginity would compromise my intense spirituality.
[about Stella] She's about as white as a trout's belly.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ed pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.





