Ed quotes

Warren

My loins must be teeming with life!

Mike

[ripping tape off Warren`s bare chest] Suck it up. If you're man enough to get a woman pregnant, you're man enough to handle a little pain.

Phil

[planning Mr. Fish's funeral] The man died on our watch. We can hardly afford talk of a cover up.

Phil

[about Mr. Fish] He was here...and when he was here, he made damned sure you noticed him.

Mike

[sneaking into Molly's office] I'm like a stealth bomber, invisible despite my size.

Please note that the statements made by Warren Cheswick do not reflect the views of Mark Vanacore.

Warren

[when Nancy asks he and Mark to do her a favor] You scratch our backs, we scratch yours. I don't have an itch just yet, but I'll let you know.

[demanding that Mike harass his granddaughter, a medical student] I want her tested. I want her ground into a fine powder and then we're going to add water to that powder and see if we have a medical student.

[describing a fresh-out-of-med-school Mike] You need to see what I saw when you lurched through my door for the first time: a big useless slab of rock.

Next time I see a cool kid in the hall, I'll want to think 'moron' but now I'll think 'outstanding taste in web humor.'

Ed

[explaining to Eli why he`s following Carol to New York] I'm not desperate, Eli; I guess you could say I'm in love.

Warren

[on Carol`s announcement that she`s been offered a writing job at Bridge & Tunnel] Way to work it, Miss Vessey!

Eli

[scaring off a prospective Stuckeybowl buyer] I'd have asked you to bowl a few, but I'm not sure if any other lanes are working -- unless you wanna bowl on the one a guy just died on.

Molly

[toasting Carol at her going away party] Carol - kick some New York ass!

Ed

[as Ed`s story about Carol`s move to NYC kicks into gear] I'm gonna need s'more root beer.