Do you think Willie Butch knows I'm human or does he just think I'm a really talented dog?"
S4New School
They're pies with the selling power of hot cakes. It's the best of both worlds.
S4New Car Smell
[about talking to Ed about Carol] I thought he was being an idiot, but of course, I couldn't come right out and say that..actually, I could come right out and say that.
[to Carol, as she is moving in] Welcome to my humble abode... or as the plains Indians would say, my humble adobe.
[about his history with Carol] We just...POW...you know, it was just this intense attraction that wouldn't, nay couldn't, be denied.
[to Ed] I recognize the full irony in what I'm about to say, but do you think there's any way I can interest you in screwing the top back on the toothpaste?
[when Nancy gets upset that he brings home low fat instead of skim] Look at the 98 percent of the milk I got right.
S4The Dream
[trying to convince Ed to hire him as a jockey] I'm actually deceptively light. I have the bone structure of a bird.
If dreams are safe, then they're not really dreams, are they? They're plans.
[to Carol] I might not always agree with you, but I will always be with you and I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out.
[on his poor SAT score] One stupid test and I'm road kill on the highway of natural selection.
S4History Lessons
[as Nancy chimes in on their conversation] That's what I love about her, Ed. She has no idea what I'm talking about and still she has an answer.
'[about Carol's ex] Every time I picture this guy in my head, he's taking on a new superpower.
[about Ed reading Carol's letters] Ed, you can't even see the line from where you're standing.
[to Carol] We're a couple, but we can have a past.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ed pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.