DuckTales (2017) quotes

Webby

[when Beakley, Launchpad, Dewey, and Louie find them] Granny?

Launchpad

Ahhhhh! Those are moles!

Dewey

Launchpad, it's just the guys.

Launchpad

You would say that. [to himself] Have there always been three of them?

Webby

[nervously] I can explain.

Beakley

You're all in big trouble. [gestures to Lena] I assume this was your idea.

Lena

[scoffs] Sure, blame the mysterious rebel playing by her own rules.

Beakley

No back talk! You made me come all the way down here, drag two more children and one man-child right into danger.

Launchpad

Man-child? Where? [shudders] Easy, LP. Easy. One monster at a time.

Lena

Aren't you supposed to be crazy adventure family? This is like an afternoon field trip for you people.

Beakley

Well, there won't be anymore afternoon field trips for you. I can assure you that.

Huey

Please talk some sense into Webby. You don't really believe that rock monsters are playing earthquake games.

Louie

Huey's usually right about nerd stuff.

Webby

Not this time. Those "aftershocks" are actually a revolt led by the lost Terra-firmian prince. He's using the games as a distraction to storm the Califermy Citadel! It's all in this artist's rendering. [shows her drawings and notes]

Louie

Ooh, that sounds awesome. I want that to be true.

Huey

Earthquakes are a result of shifting tectonic plates.

Webby

But who's pushing the plates, Huey? Who's pushing the plates?!

Huey

Other plates are pushing the plates!

Webby

Now who sounds ridiculous?

Huey

Louie, whose side are you on?

Louie

Oh, neither. This is just way more entertaining than that movie. [takes out and eats a bucket of popcorn] What? I got a refill on the way out. It's encouraged.

Dewey

Launchpad, do you think I'm a mole monster?

Launchpad

Whaaaat? No, no. [to himself] Can't believe my best friend is a mole monster.

Dewey

I'm your best friend?

Launchpad

[to himself] Oh no, it can hear my thoughts. Keep it together, Launchpad. Gotta change the subject somehow. [to Dewey] Hey, you know what we should talk about? Another subject.

Dewey

Sure.

Launchpad

[to himself] He doesn't suspect a thing.

Launchpad

Ahhh! Back, mole monster! You can't take me too! Mr. McDee won't give me the time off!

Dewey

Launchpad, it's me. Dewey! [Launchpad remains scared] Your best friend?

Launchpad

They could be anyone. They are everywhere!

Dewey

Yes, anyone could be a mole monster, in the movie! This is real life.

Launchpad

Classic mole monster saying he's "not" a mole monster.

Dewey

Ugh! By that logic, how do you know you're not a mole monster?

Launchpad

'Cause I'm not! ... Which is exactly what a mole monster would say. Wait... am I a mole monster? But I'm a good guy. Then that means mole monsters can also be good guys! [grabs Dewey] Come, mole brother! This is a new day for our people! We will show the world that we can be good!

Louie

I can't believe Uncle Gladstone is here!

Huey

He's so charming.

Dewey

And funny.

Louie

He's like the luckiest guy in the world. Uncle Donald, you must have had the best time growing up with him.

Donald

[sulking with jealousy] He's the worst. Just the worst.

Scrooge

Gladstone Gander is a complete layabout. I don't know why we're responding to his call.

Webby

It was a call for help.

Huey

And like Uncle Donald says, "Family always helps family."

Donald

Why did I say that?

Louie

Plus, he's easily our coolest uncle.

Donald

[offended] Hey!

Louie

Sorry, coolest non-trillionaire uncle.

Huey

Hey, come on, Uncle Donald is kinda cool.

Scrooge

We leave for the temple in an hour. Launchpad, I won't wait another 50 years to hear that cricket sing.

Launchpad

Sure thing, Mr. McD. I was just going to swing over and visit an old girlfriend from these parts. See, she's had some problems with the local crime family, and…

Scrooge

Yes, fine, whatever. One hour.

Launchpad

I'm coming for you, Ziyi.

Scrooge

[looking at the casino directory map] Ah, ugh. I can't make sense of this. Where's the exit?

Webby

Is that "X" hidden treasure?

Huey

The "X" is obviously where we are, but where... are we?

Louie

[trying on a suit] This is the best anyone has ever looked.

Gladstone

Well, Green Bean, if you wanna be a winner, you need to look like a winner. [to the tailor] And you can bill my suit to the room, please.

Oh, no no no no no, Mr. Gladstone. I cannot do this. It would be such a great honor for me to know that you are out in the world wearing this suit! [Gladstone and Louie leave, Donald is about to leave, but is stopped by the tailor] Two thousand dollars, cash only.

Dewey

[interacting with a couple jade tigers] Actual tigers?! Do the number of stripes tell you their age? Is it true if you stare at them in the eyes, they won't kill you, or does that make them want to kill you faster?

Liu Hai

Oh, would you like one?

Scrooge

You can't give a child a tiger. Especially not this child.

Dewey

[coddling one of the tigers] Dewey Junior, you're coming home with us. Oh, and I already named him, oh and I'm already super emotionally attached.

Scrooge

Oh fine, but I am not changing its litter.

Dewey

That guy at the mall with the iguana is gonna be so jealous!

Scrooge

I navigated myself out of the Infinitaur's Labyrinth. Freed myself from the Forever Fields of Fantoom. Why can't I find the blasted hotel exit?!

Webby

Sorry, sir, but the only thing we're hungry for is adventure, and- IS THAT A FOUNTAIN MADE OF CHOCOLATE?!

Liu Hai

You can dip positively anything in it.

Webby

Strawberries?

Liu Hai

Mhmm.

Webby

What about my hand?

Liu Hai

Sure.

Webby

What about your hand?

Liu Hai

Um, uh, fine.

Donald

[trying to guess how many fingers someone is holding up] Twenty-seven! Twenty-seven! TWENTY-SEVEN!

Louie

Ugh, give it up, Uncle Donald. Please.

Gladstone

No, no, no. Let it ride. You're about to-

TWO?! We have a winner! Congratulations, you won a brand-new Thunderclutch sports car.

Gladstone

Great, this is the second car I've won for-

Four?! You win again!

Liu Hai

[kicking Donald out] His luck! It's awful! So awful!

Scrooge

Quiet. I'm in the middle of a Vision Beast battle of wills.

Dewey

So, it's a staring contest?

Glomgold

It's not just a staring contest! It's a-- [gasps as he catches himself drifting away from Scrooge's gaze] Nice try, McDuck, but your family bickering will never get me to look away, never!

Dewey

It's a staring contest.