Spanky quotes from Drawn Together

Spanky

This so stupid, it's like a retarded third grader wrote this.

La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

In your wizard's sleeve.

La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

Some sweet PT.

Hoochie coochie, gitchy gitchy, yeah, yeah, yeah, Gotta snatcha, gonna catcha, yatcha, yeah yeah yeah, Binja minja, bearded clam. Furry burger, smiley sam. La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

Octopussoir

Oh, yes siree!

Fluffy muffy stuffy in the yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta fever for the beaver weaver, yeah yeah yeah, Honey pot peachie pie.

Octopussoir

Take it to the Y-clef.

La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

In your wizard's sleeve.

La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

Some sweet PT.

Bushy bushy, fishy squishy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smelly jelly underbelly yeah yeah yeah. La la la la labia, baby you got something for me

In your wizard's sleeve.

La la la la labia baby you got something for me.

Some sweet PT.

Cookie nookie, slitty kitty, yeah, yeah, yeah, I diggy giggy, murky wiggy, yeah, yeah, yeah. La la la la labia baby you got something for me

In your wizard's sleeve.

La la la la labia, baby you got something for me

Some sweet PT.

La la la la labia, baby you got something for me

in your wizard's sleeve.

La la la la labia, baby you got something for me

Some sweet PT.

Captain Hero!

Clara, it's not what you think!

Get up! Get up right now!

I am Sam reduces Penn to a mugging embarrassment. Raves Milk Clark of USA today.

I don't care. Let's go!

Yeeeh...

Go back to your cage right now!

Spanky

Well, look who's doing the limp of shame!

Spanky

Well, nice work, Captain Hero. Here's the $50 I bet you have sex with Bleh.

[shocked] Oh!

Yeeeeeh!

Spanky

Oh, um, I mean, uh...here is the $50 Captain Hero won off me, because I bet him he would not have sex with your special cousin Bleh. But he did, in fact, have sex with her. Oh, yes, he did. For $50. Oh, man. Saved it.

Captain Hero, I forbid you to see my cousin ever again!

I'm doing this for your own good. You need to stay away from a.) this house...

Well then, I guess this is goodbye. [the doorbell rings] Well then, I guess that's the doorbell. [the pizza man shows up at the door] Well then, I guess that's the pizza man.

What the hell do you want?!

Someone ordered the pizza.

Spanky

That would be me. No one puts baby in the corner.

Ugh! You were just gonna leave that there? Bitch, pick it up!

Fuck you, fatty foopah!

Pick it up or I'm sending you back to hell! [pulls a gun at Captain Hero]

All right, Toot, drop your weapon! [pulls a gun at Toot]

Xandir

No, you drop it! [pulls a gun on Clara]

Spanky

Nobody holds a gun to my girl but me! [also pulls a gun on Clara]

All right, let's fucking do this! [has a lot of mulitiple arms with guns, knife, etc. pointed at everyone but himself] I'm not afraid to DIE!! [sprouts yet another arm with a gun pointed at himself]

Xandir, I can't help but think this is all your fault.

Xandir

What?! But I'm a certified air traffic controller with ten years of experience!

Spanky

I heard Gay Traffic Controller, with Gay Years of experience! [high-fives Captain Hero]

Spanky brings up a good point.

You now found the treasure firmly in your hand, but then you woke up.

And it had turned to sand and now you have to face the facts.

Spanky

It's a huge shit sandwich.

Xandir

And you have to take a bite.

Ling-Ling

It's a huge shit sandwich.

And you got to take a big old steamin' bite.

Of the shit sandwich.

Xandir

You dreamed of A-list parties.

A talk show on late night.

But those dreams burned up like a concert with Great White.

Xandir

And you're like a club owner without insurance.

It's a huge shit sandwich.

Ling-Ling

And you have to take a bite.

It's a huge shit sandwich.

And you have to take a

Big old steamin' bite

Of the shit sandwich.

Spanky

Hey Xandir, do you know what job you'd be perfect for?

Xandir

Basket weaver?

Spanky

No, Director of Homo-land security. [laughs as Captain Hero walks in] Hey Cap, guess what I told Xandir?

That he should be Director of Homo-land security?

Spanky

How'd you know?

You told me like five times now, plus I've always said he's the right man for the job. [In confessional] If you fat cats up in Washington had the guts to appoint someone who thinks outside the box!

Paid for by the committee to elect homos.

[screams] What is this unholy abomination?!

Hi, Clara. You're just in time to witness a fake gay marriage for the health insurance.

What? If gays get married, the institution of marriage will be destroyed! Societies will crumble! Rivers will run with blood! Nazis will once again ride on dinosaurs!

Spanky

I'll take care of this. [to Clara] Hey Clara, there's a Jew outside trying to poison a well!

[screams] Oh my God! [runs to well] Get away from that well, Hebrew!

What? I'm putting in water purification tablets!

Spanky tricked me. As God as my witness, I'll put an end to this gay marriage, I swear!

Nice tits.

I'm cured! Oh, I'm cured! My therapist made me realize that it's not my fault my parents are dead. I couldn't have stopped Zebulon from crashing into the sun.

You mean the planet Zebulon? Zebulon didn't crash into no sun, Captain Tardo.

What'choo talkin' 'bout, Foxxy?

Zebulon is a triving planet with a booming economy.

Huh, yeah right. [snort] As if.

We order Zebulonese takeout food all the time. You love the deep fried Zebulonads.

I never put the two together.

Spanky

Don't you remember? We went to Zebulon for spring break.

Dude, I was so wasted the whole time!

Xandir

Plus, we're stealing out cable from Zebulon.

Okay, okay! I get it!

Spanky

How else could we watch Everybody Loves Zorgleblat? Man, I hate that Patricia Hetenglab, what a clexblunt.

Well then, if Zebulon didn't blow up, that would mean...my parents are still alive...oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD!

Clara, stop! You mustn't use one of those. God forbids it!

Goddamn it, what's the point of having a secret deep programming room if everybody know where it is?

Clara, please put the clum baby down.

Spanky

But she's dying! She needs it!

I don't know what to do. I have the consumption.

Larry the Tomato

Then god wants you to have the consumption.

That's just retarded. What if God created clum babies because he wants Clara to live?

Larry the Tomato

But the bible says...

Spanky

Yeah, yeah, the bible says a lot of things...and not very clearly.

We ain't sayin' your interpretation is wrong, but perhaps the bible isn't a set of strict rules, but rather a guide to help each of us to find our personal relationship with the Lord.

I never thought of it that way.

Larry the Tomato

I guess that is possible.

[suddenly furious] ENOUGH FUCKING TALK! IN THE NAME OF GOD, PUT THE FUCKING CLUM BABY DOWN!

But, but...

Eh! But... but...but!

Jesus!

Larry the Tomato

This wasn't part of the plan! We agreed nobody would get hurt!

Spanky

Holy shit! Bob the Cucumber has gone crazy!

Is this crazy?

Spanky

No, please!

Boys and girls...the brain! [the other housemates get out notepads] This is the part of the brain that controls your reflexes. [touches the brain and the patient's leg lifts up] This is the part of the brain that controls your bladder. [touches the brain again and blood squirts up from the patient] Man, that guy needs to see a doctor.

Spanky

Why? Is red pee bad?

What the hell does this have to do with Foxxy?!

I'm getting to that! This is the part of the brain that controls negative stereotype behavior.

[As a Jewish stereotype] Oy! I'll sue you for every penny! And then I'll invest it wisely!

Spanky

Ooh, live-action poo!

Wooldoor, have you been going into the live-action forest again?

I, um, well, um, brought it home because I thought they'd make nice slippers.

It's an honest mistake.

You're such a pretty cow.

We love you.

Spanky

Nice horsey.

There you go, girl. Girl? Guys, live-action cow's acting really weird.

Let me see. [A close-up of live-action cow is having red eyes and foaming mouth] Red eyes, foaming mouth. Zoinks! Live-action cow has rabbis!

It's pronounced "rabies", although they're both incurable diseases.

Spanky

She must have gotten rabies from live-action squirrel with big balls.