Foxxy quotes from Drawn Together

Foxxy...

Why you do this to us, Foxxy?

Why yo run us over?

Hey hey hey.

[picking up the phone] I need to call an ambulance! Oh girls, I am so sorry. I never should have been drinking and driving. That is the last time I mix liquor and beer and cough syrup and Kool-Aid and Grape Kool-Aid and Lemon Pledge! [In confessional] And this time I mean it!

Clara, stop! You mustn't use one of those. God forbids it!

Goddamn it, what's the point of having a secret deep programming room if everybody know where it is?

Clara, please put the clum baby down.

Spanky

But she's dying! She needs it!

I don't know what to do. I have the consumption.

Larry the Tomato

Then god wants you to have the consumption.

That's just retarded. What if God created clum babies because he wants Clara to live?

Larry the Tomato

But the bible says...

Spanky

Yeah, yeah, the bible says a lot of things...and not very clearly.

We ain't sayin' your interpretation is wrong, but perhaps the bible isn't a set of strict rules, but rather a guide to help each of us to find our personal relationship with the Lord.

I never thought of it that way.

Larry the Tomato

I guess that is possible.

[suddenly furious] ENOUGH FUCKING TALK! IN THE NAME OF GOD, PUT THE FUCKING CLUM BABY DOWN!

But, but...

Eh! But... but...but!

Jesus!

Larry the Tomato

This wasn't part of the plan! We agreed nobody would get hurt!

Spanky

Holy shit! Bob the Cucumber has gone crazy!

Is this crazy?

Spanky

No, please!

Ooh! The ghostes! They's after me! Feets don't fail me now! [she runs onto a door and falls] Ooh!

Xandir

What the fuck was that?

Xandir

Toot, where the hell you think you're going?

[carries her vodka bottle] The store. Mommy's completely run out of medicine.

Toot, if you don't start takin' care of your child, she gonna be real messed up!

Xandir

She's right, Toot. I mean, Ling-Ling was about to kill your baby.

Don't tell how to raise my baby! I know how to keep it safe! [puts herself and her baby inside a ring of fire] Who would dare to enter the Circle of Fire? Toodles! [exits the ring of fire and her coat is caught on fire]

Spanky

Ooh, live-action poo!

Wooldoor, have you been going into the live-action forest again?

I, um, well, um, brought it home because I thought they'd make nice slippers.

It's an honest mistake.

You're such a pretty cow.

We love you.

Spanky

Nice horsey.

There you go, girl. Girl? Guys, live-action cow's acting really weird.

Let me see. [A close-up of live-action cow is having red eyes and foaming mouth] Red eyes, foaming mouth. Zoinks! Live-action cow has rabbis!

It's pronounced "rabies", although they're both incurable diseases.

Spanky

She must have gotten rabies from live-action squirrel with big balls.

[whispered] Sensors indicate that the T.V. reviewer is at the end of the hall.

Spanky

Ok, guys, show no mercy. Remember, these people work in cubicles. So they're already dead inside. Let's move!

Oh Lord, if there is a sport that I can master, please give me a sign!

Hey, y'all, who wants to sponsor me? I'm goin' in the AIDS Walk next week. It's per mile.

Walk? I can walk! [Looks at the folder Foxxy is holding]

So you are going to sponsor me? You know it's per mile, right?

Hell's no, I'll be sponsoring you! I'll be sponsoring me, to win the AIDS Walk!

The Aid's Walk isn't a competition, asshole, it's a charity! Like "Not Spitting on Ugly People". [spits at Toot in the face] I gave at the office.

I'll practice night and day, and before you know it, I'll do more walking and have more AIDS than you can possibly imagine!

[offscreen] I feared Clara would keep me a cripple forever. If only I could tell someone what she was doing.

Hey, Clara. Hey, Wooldoor. How is your healthy patient-Nurse relationship?

Clara's been poisoning--mmf!

What's that?

Foxxy, look behind you! It's Denzel Washington!

Denzel! Oh! Where did Denzel go? I guess Denzel musta have an appointment or something, Denzel very busy.

Uh, look, Foxxy! Denzel came back!

Denzel! Oh, I missed again! He'd moved quickly. Denzel in excellent physical condition.

Hey, I think Wooldoor's trying to communicate through blinkin'.

Look, Foxxy! Denzel came back for an unbelievable third time!

Denzel!

Hello there, Foxxy. Clara's trying keep Wooldoor...

Foxxy, look out in the hall! It's another Denzel Washington, with two penises!

Double-dong Denzel!

Goodbye, asshole! [she pushes Denzel Washington out to the window breaks and he falls] It's just you and me now, Wooldoor. No one's going to save you.

Wait a minute, Clara. There ain't nobody in that hallway but triple dong Wesley Snipes. What is going on here?

[In confessional] So I was all alone at the dance. And worse, the meteor was about to smash into the Earth! And if the movie "Deep Impact" had anything to go by, the whole planet was about to become boring and unwatchable.

Captain Hero, you got to stop that meteor!

Can't you see I'm already one knuckle deep into fifth base?

Shoo! [he pushes Foxxy]

That's it! [in microphone] Hold up, everybody! Now I know y'all think Captain Hero is real cool.

But he ain't.

I don't know what I was thinking. I fooled y'all into thinking Hero was cool by pretending to be his girlfriend so he would stop that meteor!

Wait! I can explain!

Oh, really? Then explain this now. [tears off Hero's Lando costume]

Spanky? Clara? Steve from Long Island? [goes over to Xandir and Wooldoor] Oh, hey, man. You were right. The cool kids are assholes.

Xandir

You shit on my house, man.

I know, I know.

Xandir

You shit on my house!

Yeah, you said that already.

Oh, really? How do you explain this? [phone line disconnected] The phone wasn't even plugged in. [makes ghost noises]

Uh, Clara, is that Kirk Cameron hiding behind that plant?

Kirk, you're busted! Run!

To learn more, visit my website wayofthemaster.com. [jumps out of the window] Catch me, Jesus!

Wait, I'll go get Clara.

Clara? I'm sick of that Bible-thumping bitch. And besides, what's the fun of a group activity when you can't exclude somebody?

You can say that again.

Shut up, Excludie! Get back in your box!

Aww... [walks off and goes back into his box]

Get out, Excludie! We don't want you!

Aww... [walks off]

[Walks into torture room] What part of "we need to evacuate" do you not understand?

Not today, mister! [Cuts off his arm]

Nice work, Clara! Now let's get- [Clara cuts off his other arm] Okay, I think you got him...

[Between hacks] I...MUST...GET...INTO...HEAVEN!

Is you done?

Not sure...how do you know when you're done killing something?

When your man pick you up at the clinic and take you drinking at the club.

We went to the Rice Museum/Holocaust Memorial, and Daddy got me this awesome T-shirt! It says, "Never forget..." [turns around]

"...to salt the water before boilin' the rice."

Boy, Foxxy. They ought to call you a German pornstar's mouth.

German pornstar's mouth?

'Cause you full of shit!