Mr. Talbot quotes from Drake &amp; Josh

See you tomorrow, class.

Okay, how many days of detention are you going to give me?

None!

None!

She said none.

I heard the none.

I'm putting you in Remedial English. [Drake and Josh gasp] What's the matter, Drake? Did you not enjoy your last experience in Remedial English class?

[Drake has a dream sequence in Remedial English with lack of discipline that includes poorly behaved students]

TMr. Talbot

[with his hands and feet tied-up] Would someone like to come to the board and diagram that sentence? And perhaps untie me.

BBully

[yelling] STOP TALKING!

Oh, I don't think you're allowed to have dogs in school.

BBully

[yelling] YOU LEAVE CUDDLES ALONE!

[the goth girls sit next to Drake]

GGGoth Girl 2

I heard you kiss good.

Oh no, not really!

GGGoth Girl 1

You're our new boyfriend.

GGGoth Girl 2

I get to kiss him first!

GGGoth Girl 1

No, I do!

GGGoth Girl 2

No, you don't!

[the goth girls struggle to kiss Drake]

[whining] SAVE ME CUDDLES! [Drake's dream ends as the scene cuts to him in the classroom] Okay, you cannot put me back in Remedial English!

Well, there is one other option.

What other option?

I could give you a little sibling.

A baby pig?

A sibling is a brother or sister.

Yes, my husband Gerald is a sponsor for the little sibling foundation.

I'm almost sure little siblings are baby pigs.

[yelling] WELL, THEY'RE NOT!

Little siblings is an organization that matches up underprivileged kids with an older brother or sister.

So you're gonna punish me by making me babysit some kid?

I'm hoping that it will teach you to be responsible. It's your choice Drake, you can get a little sibling or you can go back to Remedial English class. Which will it be?

I'll take the baby pig.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

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[comes in The Premiere and finds Drake and Josh with Sammy] Very, very, interesting.

Mrs. Hayfer, what are you doing out in public?

Apparently, watching you, fail miserably. Josh, would you take Sammy to the nurse for a moment?

There's no nurse here-

TO THE NURSE!

Come on, Sammy! [he and Sammy run off]

Mrs. Hayfer, I can explain.

Drake, we had a deal. You stay out of remedial English as long as your Sammy's big sibling but if Sammy prefers Josh, well I think we know what will happen to you.

[Drake has another dream sequence in Remedial English with lack of discipline that includes poorly behaved students and a vicious dog named Cuddles that's controlled by a bully]

TMr. Talbot

[with his hands and feet tied-up] WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE CALL THE POLICE!

[2 Gothic love starved Bartleby sisters try to kiss Drake as Drake's second dream ends]

Okay, okay, just give me 1 day and I promise Sammy will love me.

Make sure it happens. [walks away but stops for a little bit to talk to Drake] Oh, and Drake. Guess what?

What?

[satisfied] I hate you.