I've come from Urmston.
Have you?
There's two ways to get there.
S1 E5Party
(on the Christmas party) Normally it's a few dodgy pies and a disco. You show up, throw up and bog off home.
We're off clubbing! Have a great night, oldies!
Have you not got coats?
Coats? How sad are you?
(reading the Christmas party invite) What does that mean, sake from six thirty? (pronouncing it sake)
Sah-ke!
I'm not being sarky, I'm asking!
I fancy devorai!
As a guest?
As a fabric for my dress!
It sounded like an ethnic boyfriend! Devorai Singh, Devorai Patel...
Do some flipping work!
I was going to go on Mastermind but I can't sit on leather
Is it a sit down toilet?
Yeah
That's the only sort I go on
No it is
Evening all, as dear old Dock Green used to say
S1 E6Nightshift
(while looking in the newspaper for a new job) Something like cleaning, light housework, housekeeping. Here's one, light house-keeper wanted.
(Bren leans over to look at the paper) Lighthouse. Keeper.
What would happen if I asked for a herbal tea?
Nothing.
You mean you wouldn't be fazed by such a request?
No, I mean you wouldn't get one.
I'm warning you, I don't mince my punches.
(reading Tony's get well card) What does that say?
Love Twinkle.
We had to practice handwriting when I was at school! The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni! How's he going to move on to joined up writing?
He'll have to have a pencil case big enough to hold spaghetti
Where's the cow of catering?
(showing Jean newspaper) She's gone for this.
(reading) Size 24 wedding dress never worn
She's gone to be a lighthouse keeper
Tea break extension may lead to detention
S2 E1Catering
Men and women have different brains.
Yes, it was in the Daily Mail. Women can't fold maps, and men can't get interested in headboards.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dinnerladies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.