As Gerard Depardieu said to me that day in Deauville "What's the point in having a big nose if you can't jam a banana up it?"
S1 E3Scandal
Hang about, hang about. Now I like strange women shouting the odds in a staff toilet. That's better than a game of snooker to me! But WHAT is going on?
S1 E4Moods
EEnid
Did you get that skirt from a catalogue?
No.
EEnid
Pity. You could have sent it back.
I'm really upset. It was me who saw him sitting on the toilet - I think I should have counselling!
Counselling! My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram for four and a half hours - she didn't get counselling. She got a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!
You see, music might help in there. What does he like Bren?
Well he likes the Band of The Grenadier Guards but they'll not fit through the Xpelair!
CConnie
It's like I keep telling Jean, sex is like icing a cake. You've got to bloody concentrate!!
EEnid
Dolly was a beautiful baby, dainty like a little doll, and then WOOF! She looked like a dinghy with plaits.
That was puberty.
EEnid
It was not, it was pies.
That doesn't look right... is there an "e" in arse-ing?
Bren, can you spread them for Tony?
You have to be able to share your needs
Oh, I hate that word, Needs, what's that other word I can't stand? Ashphalt
S1 E5Party
What did Edith Piaf use to say?
A handbag?
No, that was Edith Evans! No, it was - non, je ne regrette rien. Rien regriette...
Who is Babs?
Babs? She's from Urmston!
(to Tony and somewhat drunk) Breathe in! Can you smell my Charlie?
I hadn't budgeted for chips calorie-wise!
Do excuse me, I man a helpline at midnight.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dinnerladies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.