Orla quotes from Derry Girls

Peter

Please welcome to the stage, Erin, Orla, Clare, Michelle and James.

Peter

The act you’re going to perform for us tonight, well, they’re absolutely huge.

Michelle

That’s right, Peter.

Peter

Matthew.

Michelle

Matthew! Shit! I got it right in rehearsals, I just…

Peter

It doesn’t matter.

Michelle

No, I fucked it.

Peter

Okay. Give us some clues, girls.

Orla

Well, Peter… They are English, but we still like them.

Clare

They’re also probably better known by their nicknames.

Peter

Which are? And I think this just might give it away now.

Erin

Ginger! Baby! Sporty! Scary and Posh!

Tonight, Matthew, we’re gonna be The Spice Girls!

Peter

Girl power!

Clare

We had plans tonight.

Michelle

We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We’re talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We’re gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.

Erin

Quick question on the old riding front there.

Michelle

Go on?

Erin

Who exactly will we be doing that with?

Michelle

Young hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.

Clare

Oh, don’t worry about me.

Michelle

There’s actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.

Clare

Lesbian farmers? Really?

Michelle

Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We’ll get you sorted, don’t worry.

James

What about me? Could we pick me up a girl?

Michelle

Can we pick you up a girl?

Erin

Like she’s a thing?

Orla

(in the van) Yeah, that is so out of order, James.

James

I didn’t mean… I-I just thought…

Michelle

Well, you thought wrong, James.

James

Sorry.

Michelle

Get in the van. (exasperate sigh) Dirtbag.

Mary Quinn

What are you supposed to be? Swans?

Erin

We’re not swans?

Orla

Are we not?

Clare

We’re angels.

Aunt Sarah

Angels don’t use crutches.

Gerry Quinn

And swans do?

Granda Joe

You’re a swan expert now, are you?

Gerry Quinn

Yeah, that’s precisely what I said.

Mary Quinn

God love you, son. Imagine beating you up just cause you like Slimboy Fat.

James

Yeah, I still can’t quite believe it myself, actually.

Clare

That’ll be Daddy!

Orla

Ah, I love his wee toy car.

Michelle

You know I’ve never even visited Niall. Me Mam wouldn’t let me, she wouldn’t let any of us. She won’t even say his name any more. He had a son, the man, he had a teenaged son. We found that out later.

Erin

I'm sorry Michelle.

Michelle

You weren’t wrong. I mean you weren’t right either. There’s no answer to any of this is there?

Erin

No, I don’t think there is you know.

James

Do you want to get out of here?

Orla

Can we take that wee tiny horse? No.