Storyteller quotes from Dave the Barbarian

Yes, to earn their batteries, the people of Udrogoth did labor mightily for Ned Frischman, constructing a sphinx of gold, Mount Frischmore, Big Ned's Putt-Putt Fun House, and the Great Pyramid... Of Ned.

Candy

[Sitting on top of a block for the pyramid while others push.] Let me explain again: I am doing actual work! Me! I don't think you understand how completely and utterly wrong this is!

Throughout history, there have been many great barbarian heroes: Kronkaz the Smasher, Mortaad the Ridiculer-

Hey! Pizza face!

Sheebor, the Stomper on Things Until They're Squished Into Mushy Paste-

Ha! Are you paste yet?

Not... Quite.

These mighty heroes have been honored in the most ancient and venerable of old art forms.

Fang

One pack of Famous Barbarian Trading Cards, please. [Shouting.] Or I'll crush you like a grape!

And thus did Fang learn, that even the greatest hero can be a-

Fang

Weenie.

Bugle Beetles! These terrible insects are famous for their unstoppable wrath!

We're gonna smash things up good, huh? [Chuckles.]

We're gonna smash things up real good! [Laughs.]

They're also famous for being about as smart as the stuff you scoop out of a pumpkin.

Twinkle the Marvel Horse!

Candy

Twinkle, my flying steed! I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a while...

I've been... So lonely, in here. Such terrible thoughts one has, alone, in the dark.

Candy

Uh, like I said, I'm real sorry I haven't visited you for a while.

It's not important! No one cares about me! They think to mock, and belittle Twinkle the Marvel Horse, do they? Well it is they, they, who will suffer!

The Dark Lord…

Chuckles

Chuckles the Silly Piggy! [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy looks around and started to laugh] Hey. Cut it out. [Dave, Oswidge, Candy, Fang, Faffy continues laughing] Cut it out, cut it out, cut it out, cut it out! I'm the master of evil! The master of evil! I can't help it if I have an adorably curly little tail.