Darkwing Duck quotes from Darkwing Duck

Darkwing

I am the terror who flaps in the night! I am the editor who cuts your scene! I am Darkwing Duck! ...oh, and this is Morgana, but of course you've met- never mind.

Darkwing

[nervously] Um, wouldn't it be easier to catch the bad guys if we were flying the other way?

Launchpad

Oh yeah. [turns plane around forward] Sometimes I have trouble with that...

Darkwing

[whines] They got away...

Launchpad

[laughs] Can't argue that point, DW! So what do we do next?

Darkwing

"We"? "We" do nothing. I work alone.

Launchpad

But I could be your sidekick.

Darkwing

Singing cowboys have sidekicks! I rely on me, nobody but me, got that?

Launchpad

[grabs Darkwing's leg] Please, please, please, please, please...

Darkwing

[pulls away] Let me make this clear to you: I never want to see you again!

Launchpad

Okay... so do you want my phone number?

Darkwing

Where's my phonebook? I'll just find you a hotel or something. [under breath] Maybe the animal shelter has an opening.

Gosalyn

Well, I suppose I could leave, but then I might let it slip where a certain masked avenger hangs out.

Darkwing

You wouldn't!

Gosalyn

[shrugs] Hey, I'm a kid, I'm supposed to be irresponsible

Darkwing

A desperate criminal is at large, and terror runs through the streets like a pair of cheap stockings! But it's hopeless! No one gets the drop on Dark-

Gosalyn

[drops on top of Darkwing] Gosalyn Waddlemeyer! Boy, Darkwing, you gotta work on your narration. They write better stuff on Saturday morning cartoons.

Darkwing

Oh yeah? Well, how's this? [flips Gosalyn upside down] In a lightning move, Darkwing turns the tables-

Darkwing

-on the t-tiny t-terror... will you stop that! That's no fair tickling...

Gosalyn

How come you wear a mask?

Darkwing

Because... there is nothing so terrifying to the criminal mind as the unknown... I am the thing that goes bump in the night! I am the neurosis that requires a five-hundred-dollar-an-hour shrink!

Gosalyn

You mean you don't take off your mask for anyone?

Darkwing

That's right. Not no one, not never.

Gosalyn

What about a really, really, really close friend? [bats eyelashes]

Darkwing

Well, uh... maybe. Someday.

Gosalyn

Hey, it's a start.

Darkwing

What is a Waddlemeyer Ramrod anyway?

Gosalyn

[recites] It's a trackiospecific device that disrupts gravitational bonds on a molecular level allowing manipulation on a macro scale.

Darkwing

What does that mean?

Gosalyn

I dunno. I think it makes things float and stuff. [pulls out a photo] Here's a picture. That's Grandpa.

Darkwing

Looks like you two were close.

Gosalyn

[sadly] We were. [crosses arms] But he never told me any code!

Darkwing

Unfortunately, Taurus Bulba doesn't know that. His men will be searching for you, you know. [chuckles] Although if they knew how much spirit you have, they'd probably run the other way.

Gosalyn

Spirit? [kisses Darkwing's cheek] Thanks, Darkwing!

Darkwing

Uh, sure... Good night, Gosalyn.

Gosalyn

[ten seconds after going to bed] I can't sleep!

Darkwing

Aw, you just need something to relax you. I know I have a large mallet around here somewhere.

Hammerhead

But boss, what if he doesn't know morse code?

Taurus Bulba

[laughs] That do-gooder? He probably sleeps with the Boy Scout handbook under his pillow.

Darkwing

Phew! Sure glad I saved this baby!

Darkwing

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the jailer who throws away the key! I AM- [notices he is alone] feeling really stupid. Boy I hate it when I'm early. You'd think criminal masterminds would be more punctual.

Taurus Bulba

Please accept my apologies.

Darkwing

Okay, but next time, you'd- Taurus Bulba! How did you-where'd... Er, I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am... I am the sup-surprise in your cereal box. I am, I am...

Taurus Bulba

Yes, yes, I know. I heard. You're Darkwing Duck.

Gosalyn

I'm sorry, Darkwing. If they hadn't caught me, you wouldn't have risked your life.

Darkwing

Gos, before I met you I didn't have a life worth risking.

Darkwing

[wrapping himself in vines] We're creating the perfect disguise to catch Bushroot!

But that's poison ivy!

Darkwing

I see. Well, then, that explains this incredible itching sensation. AAAAAH!