Drake Mallard quotes from Darkwing Duck

Drake

Admission for two adults and two tiny terrorists.

Drake

Did Hemingway have this problem? No, because he didn't live next door to the Muddlefoots!

Drake

I'd love to stay and chew the fat, babe...

Drake

[Putting lights on the Christmas tree] Let's get... decorative.

Drake

A mysterious hero protects the city of St. Canard. He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is the eraser that rubs out the typos of crime! He is- Gosalyn's Dad?

Drake

Oh, nice shot of me there! Good composition. You know, this looks great! The only thing that could make it better would be if I could actually catch the crook!

Drake

Now all I need is a name. Something that'll conjure up the fear of a dark moonless night, the speed of an eagle’s wing... something like... 'The Really Scary Fast Thing'!

I'm sorry, Mr. Mallard. Gosalyn's not feeling very well today. And frankly, it appears you've seen better days yourself.

Drake Mallard

Oh, the bandages? Just a little kitchen accident. I always forget the milk.

Gosalyn

I thought you were-

Drake

Ha! Nobody can hurt Dark- uh, Drake Mallard. Besides, I've got to take care of myself, now that I've going to have an adopted daughter to worry about.

Drake

Launchpad, are you reading my comic book?

Launchpad

Who, me?

Darkwing

[in Gosalyn's body] Is everyone okay?

Gosalyn

[in Drake's body; with head stuck in the wall] That was epic! [pulls herself out] Let's do it again!

Honker

[in Launchpad's body] I'm okay…sort of.

Launchpad

[in Honker's body] Launchpad McQuack all present and accounted for. [coughs] I think. Everything's kind of fuzzy.

Gosalyn, where are you?

Here, Dad.

Gosalyn?

Dad?

Something must've gone wrong when I bashed that button. Instead of transferring information, I transferred us! [gasps] Trapped in a child's body. How can I battle criminals? Bad guys are really going to take me seriously now.

J. Gander

Darkwing, thank you for answering-- [notices Gosalyn sitting in the chair] What?

Darkwing

[notices he's still in Gosalyn's body] Oh, no! [jumps out and hides behind the chair]

J. Gander

Uh, Darkwing? Uh, Darkwing Duck, where are you?

[sits in the chair] Right here, J. Gander. What's up?

[peeking out from behind] Gosalyn, what are you doing?!

J. Gander

What's happened to your voice, Darkwing?

My voice? Oh, that. I'm practicing disguising my voice, just in case.

J. Gander

Ah, good thinking, Darkwing. A little girl's voice could come in handy, I-I suppose.

Good save. Huh, Dad?

But Gosalyn, we can't go to the movies. Your dad said-

Hey, since when does a kid tell an adult what to do?

But we're not really adults, we just look like adults.

Same difference. Trust me.

B-but you don't know how to drive!

How hard can it be? Adults do it. [gets in the car and Honker gulps worriedly, then drives the car out of control] Piece of cake.

I'm no rocket scientist, but I think it weird that the sun looks stuck. Maybe because it's 10:00 and the sun never set.

Golly, it would mean that something stopped the rotation of the Earth.

When are you two gonna show a little responsibility? You're both grounded for life and your allowance is suspended until further notice! Fun, huh, Dad? Just like the way you yell at me.

I never yell at you like that. [sees the car on stairs and gasps] YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE AND YOUR ALLOWANCE IS SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER-Yow!