Sam Manson quotes from Danny Phantom

Do you want us to talk to Jazz?

I'm perfectly capable of talking to my own sister!

Sam

...Which is why you're hiding from her. In a broom closet.

No, I'm not!

Jazz

Danny, you in there?

Hide me! [jumps into a trash can]

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[about his PDA] It's picking up Technus! Something in his new upgrade is making my PDA all wonky.

Sam

Like at the mall... And the lab... And the ferris wheel! He's pushing Danny and Valerie together! [Tucker laughs] [unimpressed] If you're done, we have to tell Danny.

[giggling and speaking] You wanna tell Danny that Technus is playing matchmaker? How do you think he's gonna react to that?

[Scene changes to the next day with Danny laughing]

Sam

[annoyed] Are you done yet?

No. [keeps laughing] Okay, now I'm done. You're trying to tell me that Technus is trying to hook me up? Come on! Technus hates emotions!

Sam

And hello? He's using yours against you.

Dim lights, stalled ferris wheel - You think the universe wants you two to be together?

[Valerie is shown hiding in the bushes]

Well, maybe, but... I don't know... I might.

[Sam and Valerie gasp]

Uh...really? Because Tech...

Sam

[sees Valerie hiding] Uh... Technically because we just want you to be happy! If you like her we'll just have to make space for her at our table. [eye twitches]

Speaking of Valerie I was suppose to meet her before class. [Danny walks away and Valerie shows up]

Did you mean that?

Sam

Um...uh...yeah, sure. If Danny likes you and you like Danny, the least we can do is give you a chance. [Valerie hugs Sam] Human contact...crushing Goth...indifference....

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Danny! Word on the street has it that you've got a girlfriend! [to Sam and Tucker] Can you two leave so I can have a totally awkward "father and son"-chat?

STSam and Tucker

[run off] Gone and gone!

[Scene cuts to Jack and Danny eating Ice cream in the kitchen.]

Does it have to be awkward?

Yep! I'm gonna give you some fatherly advice. Then I am going to say something that makes you cringe and run out of the room in embarrassment!

Check. Advice, first?

Alright... If you really like this girl, Danny, you should let her know and give her something... Like this! [puts a ring on the table]

[surprised] A class ring?

A girlfriend's not a girlfriend until you give her a class ring, Danny. It also says, "I think you could be the girl I fight ghosts with"! [beat] At least it did with your mom - I don't know how appropriate that is for you...

[laughs] You'd be surprised. I can give her this?

Only if she's special. I'm sure Sam'll love it!

[alarmed] It's not for Sam!

[laughs, unconvinced] Of course, it's not! You guys are just friends! [leans in slightly] I even had it engraved! [Danny looks at the ring, and sure enough, Sam's name is engraved on the inside] See, that was the embarrassing thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for pie! [holds up a pie, Danny walks off] Clueless...

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Sam

[sees Valerie following Danny into the sky] Uh...Danny. Danny. Come in, stay alert. You have company.

Company? What kind of company?

Sam

It's your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend until I give her the ring.

What is this? 1955?

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Sam

[gives Danny the ring] Here you go.

You sure about this?

Well, she said she'd give up ghost hunting. For me. Besides, I like her, and she likes me – isn't it supposed to be that simple?

STSam and Tucker

[shrugs] Clueless.

[puts her hand on Danny's shoulder] Danny?

Wow. I-I'm glad you're here. I, uh wanted to ask you something.

Actually, me first. [Sam and Tucker walk off] Danny, I've had a lot of fun these last few days, but my life's way too complicated right now for us to be anything other than... friends.

Just... friends? B-b-but I thought...

I thought, too. But there's something important I have to do, and I don't want you to get hurt because of it. Besides, it's not like you were going to give me some lame class ring, right? [kisses him on the cheek]

Ye-eah, right.

[Valerie leaves as Danny opens his hand holding the ring and looks at it. Valerie goes behind the corner of the school building, changes into her new suit, then looks back at Danny seeing how sad he looks. She gets a determined look on her and flies off. Danny sits down as Sam returns]

[gives the ring to Sam] Can you hang on to this?

Sam

[tosses up the ring like a coin] Ah, clueless.

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What's wrong with beauty pageants?

Sam

Other than the fact that they turn girls into shallow doormats and boys into drooling idiots? Everything.

But it's got a swimsuit competition!

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Sam

Oh, Ms. Mattingly? I didn't hear you.

DDora

You'd be surprised how dainty your footsteps can be WHEN YOU DON'T WEAR COMBAT BOOTS!

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Sam

Hi, my name's Sam Manson and my happy princess talent is... goth haiku. Despair without end! [whispers to Danny] Dora's a ghost! Utter blackness, nothingness. [whispers again] Dora's a ghost! [loudly] Dora is a ghost!

So that's your big statement? Dora's a ghost? I mean, what does that have to do with... wait, Dora is a ghost!

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Sam

[with Tucker's campaign] You're just going about this the wrong way, Tucker.

Yeah, your campaign is all about victory through technology and the triumph of machine over man. It's kinda creepy.

Sam

So we changed your lame official campaign platform. [hands Tucker a list with the new ideas]

[reading] Graffiti art classes? Rage against the PTA meetings? Mini-skirt Fridays? Okay, that's good.

Yeah, that was mine.

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LMr. Lancer

[unhappy, coming from the door of the cafeteria] Manson. Foley. Can you tell me why you're not still in the cafeteria?

[referring to Danny] We have to help him!

Sam

[quickly faking an excuse to Mr. Lancer] Why are we not in the cafeteria? [pause] Um...Because we're meeting Danny, and totally ditching school.

And there's nothing you can do about it...old man.

LMr. Lancer

[angry] Old man?! [Tucker and Sam start running away and Mr. Lancer tries to catch them] You two are in a world of trouble! [his hip cracks] Ow! My hip.

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[angry and yelling] Sam! Tucker! Get out of that thing!

Sam

[shouting] What?! I couldn't hear you over the roar of the rockets! [leans back into the Specter Speeder; to Tucker] Could you activate the roar of the rockets please?! [Tucker activates the roar of the rockets and they drive out of the Fenton Household]

[angry and yelling] You two kids are in a world of trouble!

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[After being hunted by Guys In White] Could this week get any worse? [spots Sam and Gregor coming out of the mall]

Wait, Sam. There's something I must tell you right here and now.

Sam

Okay, what?

You have little tiny strand of spaghetti hanging from your lip. Right here. [kisses Sam]

Okay. Now, it's officially worse.

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Uh... am I interrupting something? Gregor? Dude? Hello! [Gregor furrows his brows as Tucker waves his hand in front of his face.]

[accent lost; to Tucker] Dude, Do you ever stop talking??! [frowns as Gregor continues his outburst.] Do you even know how obnoxious you are? With your stupid jokes and lame-o technology? Idiot! [to Sam] ...Uh, I mean... Psssh *resumes accent* Is nothing. Uh...*loses it again* Aw, darn it.

Sam

[realization] Wait a minute. You were faking it? The accent? and liking Tucker? Just to get on my good side?

[normal accent] Ugh, I'm a guy. Hello! I mean, I really like you, but... [gestures to Tucker] Come on!

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Sam

[about Gregor] Ugh, he's not my boyfriend. I dumped him as soon as I found out you were right about him being a phony. Apparently, that is the only way a guy could like me.

That's not true.

That's totally not true! There's a million reasons a boy could like you. I mean... you're smart, you're fun, you're cool, you're pretty- [stops abruptly after catching himself; Sam blushes] Why am I still talking? I am such a spaz. Still friends?

Sam

Pssh. The best.