Jack Fenton quotes from Danny Phantom

Jack

[to Vlad] I may be a goof, I may mess up, but when my family's in danger, the gloves are off! [notices he's wearing the Fenton Ghost Gloves] Well...technically they're on, but you get the idea!

Jack

[pulls Skulker's true form out of the armor's head] Too small, better throw it back. [tosses Skulker to Danny, who sucks him up into the Fenton Thermos]

Jack

[finishes welding the Emergency Op Center back onto the roof] Locked down tighter than a drum. This baby won't be going anywhere for a while. [thrown back as the Op Center detaches as the Fenton Blimp and flies off] Note to self: never tighten any drums.

Jack

I don't see what the big deal is. [a vine tries to get into Jack's head] [to the vine] Nope. [vine tries a different spot] Nope, still feel fine. [vine roots into Jack's ear] [just before he gets controlled] Ah! Now you've got it! [under vine's control] Mmm! Chlorophyll!

Jack

So, Danny! You and your little friends want to hunt ghosts.

Danny

Ah, Ac-ac-actually Dad? I want to be an astronaut.

Sam

Sorry, Mr. Fenton. I was into ghosts, but they're so mainstream now. They're like cellphones.

Tucker

Waste these looks and all this charisma hunting ghosts? Criminal.

Jack

Well, if you do want to hunt ghosts, there are a few things you need to learn.

Danny

Catch anything, Dad?

Jack

Son, I couldn't catch a cold. I've been sitting here all day without a single bite.

Danny

Uh...

Jack

I'm so frustrated I want to take out my rage on the first person who gives me bad news. Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?

Danny

[nervous] Well, sort of. Mr. Lancer...

Jack

[shocked] Mr. Lancer what? Is this bad news?

Danny

Mr. Lancer... [smiles and thinks of a good idea to get out of trouble with Lancer as he overshadows his dad.] wants to have a word with us!

Maddie

[to Danny] Danny, this is becoming a problem! You're constantly late getting home...

Jack

You're shrinking from your chores...

Maddie

Your grades are slipping...

Jack

You're shrinking from your chores...

Danny

You already said chores.

Jack

I know, but when you don't do 'em, I get stuck with 'em.

Vlad

I insist you stay.

Jack

Well... I don't know. We do have that really cool R.V.

Jazz

[feigns a sneeze] Let's stay here.

Danny

Smooth...

Vlad

[overshadowing Jack] So, what do you say we liven up this shindig?

Maddie

Jack, what's the matter with you?!

Vlad

[turns around] Why Maddie, didn't you always know I'd turn on you? That when you chose me you chose wrong? [reaches hands out angrily above Maddie]

Jack

[trying to regain control] Get out. Get out of me!

I don't know what's come over you, but when I write about this I swear--

Jack

[clutches Maddie] Ghost... overpowering me... Maddie, run. WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH

He's a ghost? This is the story of the century!

Maddie

[dragging Harriet away from the scene] Come on! We have to get to the Fenton Family Ghost Assault Vehicle! [worriedly] I mean, the RV!

Vlad

[overshadowing Jack] If you live to tell the tale, remember that big, fat [hits man] Jack Fenton did this to you!

Danny

[off-screen] Guess again, cheesehead.

Jack

Nobody uses Jack Fenton as a human meat puppet!

Lazy, unfocused, ill-prepared, lethargic. Need I go on?

Danny

Dad, I-

Jack

Now that's enough of your sass talk, mister!

Maddie

What do you suggest, Mr. Lancer?

Danny will pass. I know he's capable. But I'd like to spend his after school hours in my office studying until I administer the makeup exam.

Jazz

But he has stuff to do after class!

Danny

But I have stuff to do after class! How do you know that?!

Ah, but consider this: If you fail, you may be held back a year. If it's boring once, imagine taking it again.

Maddie

Get this straight, Danny. You're a Fenton. Fentons get "A"s, or in your father's case, "B" minuses.

Jack

[looking proud] Solid "B" minuses!

Maddie

Until you retake that test and pass it with flying colors, we are FORBIDDING access to all electronic devices.

Danny

[cell phone rings] It's Tucker.

Jack

[snatches Danny's phone] He's BUSY! [crushes Danny's phone]

Maddie

[to Danny, in a serious tone] Were you spying on them?

Danny

All right, all right! I was spying on Jazz and I'm really...

Jack

[whispers] Good job.

Maddie

[whispers] Yeah, way to go, Danny. And if you see Jazz with that hooligan again, you let us know.

[loudly] And don't do it again!

Jack

[whispers] But seriously, feel free to do it again.

Jack

[about Johnny 13] He's on the run!

Maddie

And I've got the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick. Let's get him!

Jack

Sweetie, that's just a regular bat.

Maddie

Yep, but it's a bat with the word 'Fenton' on it. [jumps out the door]

Jack

Man, that's hot!

Sam

A curfew?

Tucker

An escort?

Danny

Okay, who's the idiot security adviser who came up with these lame ideas?

Jack

Fear not, young ones, we're here to make sure this school is prepared for any ghost emergencies.

Maddie

[on megaphone] You must be cautious, at any time one of these ectoplasmic malefactors - [spots Danny in the crowd] hi sweetie! [Danny ducks down and blushes] - could appear out of nowhere.

Danny

[to Sam & Tucker] Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us?

Sam

Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us.

Maddie

[reading ghost detector] This ecto-storm is coming from the direction of 917 Maple Street.

Jack

917 Maple, eh? I could have sworn it was coming from that big spooky house with the big, swirly cloud overhead.