Elise quotes from Dan Vs.

Chris

I can explain.

Elise

[in hysterics] Actually, you know what? Never mind! I'd rather be surprised when I watch the news! [leaves]

Chris

Great. Now Elise thinks I'm an idiot.

Chris

Wait, how did a car accent hurt him?

Dan

It wasn't the car accident. I've covered your entire garage in hot sauce!

Elise

You did what!?

Dan

Yeah, it's his only weakness for some reason. Now let's kick him while he's down!

Elise

There are other places you could put hot sauce! Like your apartment! Or a park! Or a hot sauce factory!

The secret of my weakness will die with you.

Dan

[strangling] It was on TV! Chris Boy! Help!

Chris

I don't want to be Chris Boy anymore. In fact, I never wanted to be Chris Boy!

Dan

You're right! This is a job for Steel Scorpion!

Chris

Well that's more like it! Stinger attack!

Unhand me, simpletons!

Dan

Taste my spicy vengeance! [he feeds him hot sauce]

Stop you don't know what you're doing! I could lose my powers forever!

Chris

He's still super strong!

Elise

Actually, that's normal strong!

Dan

Steel Scorpion, hold him!

No!! I'm losing my powers!

Chris

It's in my eyes!

Elise

Okay, that's quite enough of that. [sprays water at Dan, Chris, and Terrifi-Guy who is now reduced to a scrawny weakling]

Dan

Ha ha! Now Terrifi-Guy, do you see what-

Elise

That's for messing my garage.

[high-pitched voice] Do you know what you've done? I have lost my super powers! You haven't seen the last of me, Dr. Jerk! I will get my powers back somehow, and you will be sor-

Hey! Quit it! Let go!

Elise

All righty. Bub-bye!

Dan

Good riddance, I say! The city doesn't need you. It has all the superhero it needs... Dan Man!

Chris

And Steel Scorpion!

Dan

Just Dan Man! I'll take it from here.

Elise

You're not going anywhere until this garage is spotless!

Chris

[sees Dan pop out from the luggage] Dan?!

Elise

Honestly, that's got to be some sort of record.

Chris

You can't tag along this time. It's a family cruise. You aren't family.

Dan

You think I want to be here? I've been hijacked, Shanghaied, Dan-napped! I am missing zombie wrestling. I gotta get off this ship before [see the cruise sailing away from the city] we set sail. Alright, fine. Today is a wash. Fortunately, the main event isn't until tomorrow.

Chris

Dan, we're not going back to shore for a week. You're stuck here.

Dan

FAMILY CRUISE!

Dan

[laughing] Victory! [takes the Captain hat and puts it on] Kneel before your captain!

That's interference!

Oh, calm down, Don!

Mom!?

Junior!?

Chris

Elise?

[scolds Elise] You better have a good explanation, young lady.

Me!? You're the one in battle armor!

Don't you change the subject!

Dan

Sounds like you all have a lot to discuss. If you'll excuse me... [Dan walks away and heads to the captain's deck] Zombie Wrestling, [breaks the steering wheel] here I come!

Dan

Arr, my trusty crew! Come for your share of the plunder?

Chris

Wait, you're a pirate now?

What have you done to the bridge? It's only been two minutes.

Dan

It was like when this when I got here.

Elise

Yeah, that's sort of our bad.

Dan

All I did was turn back towards Los Angeles.

And destroyed the captain's wheel. We can't steer the ship and without the automated navigation system, we will sail right into Catalina Parallelogram.

Dan

You win some, you lose some.

Win some, lose some? Heh! [breaks the swordfish fin board, now furious] Are you kidding me?! I've been nothing but upbeat and cheerful for you people, and all you can do is snipe at one another! And to top it off, you've wrecked my ship!? I've had it! You're all going to the brig!!

Dan

Make it so, number two.

Oh, you're going with them!