(finding a tooth in the fireplace)I think the tooth fairy might have just left us a piece of Portia Richmond.
S1 E15Table Stakes
(angry) Are you looking for work?
I just...
The sign says, "Do Not Enter," Nick. You can't read anymore? You're blind? What?
Grissom, this is important.
(furious) This is important. Sometimes in interrogations, Nick, you get one chance, one answer. And while I'm out here screwing around with you he's in there thinking up an answer that he didn't have before you walked in.
We matched the DNA taken from Lacey Duvall to a cold case in Texas ten years ago.
And?
The suspect's name was Chad Matthews.
C.M. The cuff link. Okay, I'm starting to forgive you.
Sara ran Patrick Haynes' social. The real Haynes is deceased. So Patrick Haynes is Chad Matthews and Chad Matthews is on the run.
And he just ran into us.
Have you got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
But this is where you break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
A possible first degree relative?
(About fingerprints in an elevator) It's like the Circle Bar on a Friday night - three million people on top of each other.
(Nick hands Sara a cup of coffee)
No, I can't drink any more coffee. My body clock is so screwed up. I just want a steak and a shot.
Tut's Tomb, steak and eggs $1.99.
Food?
Mmhmm.
Good idea. You're on.
(runs in the room) It's what I live for. You guys are not gonna believe this. You ready?
So much for the steak, I'll take the coffee.
Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.
She's dead.
Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.
Some guys still like to foot the bill.
Really? How would you know?
Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.
What's that?
"What do you drive?"
It's a honest question.
No it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".
The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And the Lord arranged for a fish to swallow up Jonah. You know what the problem with the piranha, though? They have high cholesterol.
Cholesterol is found in humans, not fish. So how does a fish acquire human cholesterol?
(They catch the couple having sex)
Caught in the act.
I think that was the point.
Oh yeah.
I hate having lunch with you CSIs, you notice everything.
S1 E16Too Tough to Die
If you try and chase two rabbits you end up losing them both.
Every day we meet people on the worst day of their lives.
I wish I were like you, I wish I didn't feel anything.
[To Grissom] What type of system rewards the killer, when the victim is too tough to die?
What do you do for fun?
I chase rabbits...
I don't like anything ... I read crime books and I listen to my scanner.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.