I'm all over it like a cheap suit.
S1 E19Gentle, Gentle
Have you let anyone else touch this note? Police, a relative, anyone?
DDad
No, just us. Why?
Well, because the person who touched it before you has your son, and he's just left us the first piece of the puzzle.
A guy cheats, but the wife commits murder. How come moms always end up the bad guy with you Freud types?
Geez. Haven't these people ever heard of divorce?
You told me a few weeks ago that nothing is personal. No victim should be special. Everyone follows your lead.
Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special.
[After getting punched in the head by a paparazzo]
[Hands him an ice pack] Ice.
I don't need this.
Just do it.
[Grissom holds the ice pack on his head]
You're an average family, burdened with a tragedy that put you under a microscope. That close, nobody can look good.
S1 E20Sounds of Silence
[Grissom walks in with Dr. Gilbert, the female president of the School for the Deaf]
So that's why Grissom's late.
You just don't like other women in his life.
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
[Grissom wouldn't tell them how he learned sign language]
[coming into the room] What was that all about? Grissom signs?
What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
He goes out?
Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?
I am the man.
Why, what'd you do? Let me guess, you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match?
No.
You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
Not quite.
You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?
...no.
Squirrels love 'em ... they get tossed at Dodger Stadium and they make a hell of a butter.
You're nuts. You know that.
Exactamundo. Peanuts!
You missed the deadline. No Chicago for me.
Oh, Catherine...
This is the one meeting I needed to attend. I don’t always want to be second banana. I can probably do your job. I know that I can do Ecklie’s.
I forgot. I’m so sorry.
Make sure to submit the paperwork by the end of the day.
I thought you said that it was too late.
Well, I knew you’d forget so I upped the deadline — gave you a buffer. Don’t forget again.
S1 E21Justice is Served
[Catherine and Sara have just seized a carnival as evidence and Sara is grinning madly]
[annoyed] What?
Well, this is fun.
As opposed to...?
A more scientific approach.
Tell me, Mr. Grissom, how does a man choose death as his profession?
It chose me, actually.
I guess one man's corpse is another man's candy. Care for a sip? Full of folacin.
You have one more question. How could I consume raw organs? Not morally -- aesthetically. I dried them and ground them into powder.
Protein powder.
You want an empirical experience...I've got a fresh one [protein powder shake made from human organs] in my fridge.
[Grissom looks away. An officer leads Dr. Hillridge away]
OOfficer
She is nuts, right?
She's a cold blooded killer.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.